Dances with Wolves

Ok, so last time I made reference to “Dances with Wolves” being a film that I can’t stand. Well I got some negative feedback about that comment since it did win best picture, it was very successful and has made its way on to a lot of top 100 lists. And I must also confess, I had never been able to finish it until recently, when I watched it to show that I have credibility as a critic. Actually, this movie and I have quite a history, over the last 8 or so years I’ve sat down and tried to watch this movie at least five times, and have never been able to do it. In essence, if I was Batman, this movie would be my Joker. This is the only movie that I’ve ever just stopped watching because I couldn’t stand it. It’s not so much that the movie is terrible, or riddled with plot holes, or has a ridiculous story or anything like that. No, the reason that I have never been able to finish the movie until now is also my biggest problem with it as a film. IT IS SO FUCKING BORING!
This movie is so goddamn tedious in the first half that it always just made me so uninterested in what was going on that I did not want to go to the end because the boredom lasts FOUR FUCKING HOURS! Now, before you say things like “What? Does a movie have to have gripping action to get you into it?” or “Jeez not every movie can be 90 minutes.” I just want to say something: Some of my picks for best movies of all time are things like “Barry Lyndon”, “Gone with the Wind”, “Lawrence of Arabia”, and “The Godfather 1 and 2”, all pushing the three to four hour line. In fact, one of the DVD’s I’m most fond of in my collection is “I, Claudius” which is a mini series that lasts over 12 hours and has no flashy effects or action. I love all these films. They are all great epics and have a steady pace that builds the atmosphere while pulling you into the story. “Dances with Wolves” does not do this!
As such I put all the blame on Kevin Costner. I hate this man. I know I’ve given a lot of actors crap about being terrible or boring in movies, but they have nothing on Costner. I have yet to see a movie that actually shows him trying to pull off a performance, it’s always just Kevin Costner being Kevin Costner and loving that he’s Kevin Costner. He can and will destroy any enthusiasm I have for a movie faster than anything else I can think of. He is so boring and bland in this movie, AND he’s the main character! Doing this is something that detaches me from whatever happens to him because I honestly just don’t care. But that is just the icing on the cake, because this was Costner’s debut behind the camera as director, and boy does it ever show.
The reason this movie is so tedious is because Costner doesn’t seem to understand the idea of subtly. He constantly, and I really mean constantly, tells us the same information over and over and over and over. The entire time I was watching this movie I literally shouted “Stop beating a dead horse!” at the screen several times. A great example is the opening where he learns he’s probably going to lose his leg to a wound, and we hold on four separate cut aways to show that he doesn’t want to lose it. Really, did we need to have that constantly bored into our mind when we’ve figured it out after the first two? Hell it’s one of the first lines of the movie making all the extra cut aways that much more annoying! To top it off, the scene leads to Costner attempting suicide (YAY!) by having the Confederacy fire at him. Then, like a Schwarzengger movie, THEY ALL MISS HIM! This act of abject cowardice distracts the confederates long enough for the Union to promptly own the bad guys and Costner is seen as a mighty hero. This part just bugs me because, as star and director, it just seems like this scene exists purely to stroke Costner’s ego. Yeah it leads to him getting posted at Fort Sedgwick, but couldn’t he have been assigned to it? Or some other way than the fucking over the top stupid moment we just got?
What really gets me is people say that this movie needs to be seen as an epic so that’s why the long run time. People, an epic is something grand, big, visually interesting, sweeping and thrilling. They are so long because the stories they tell are so multi-layered that they need to time to gracefully bring them to a close without being abrupt or leaving unfinished plot threads. The story of “Dances with Wolves” is not multi-layered and Kevin Costner dragging the dead bodies of five elk, or deer, or whatever the hell they were, out of a pond over and over does not make a movie an epic! It makes it tedious to the point of aggravation! Why do we need to see him pull ALL of them out? One or two would be fine and then cut to him burning the pile because we can figure the rest out. We can Mr. Costner, we smart enough, really.
To be fair, once I finally suffered through the first couple hours where basically the same things happened several times, this movie actually gets pretty damn good. It’s still filled with some useless scenes and some rather clunky editing, but at least there are other people that show up for Costner to interact with and the useless scenes are fewer and further between. Actually, aside from Costner, everyone involved gives stunning performances. No joke, all the scenes with the native tribe are really engaging and get me back into the movie despite the large amount of Costner Blandness that is prevalent through out. Mary McDonnell is amazing as a white woman raised by the Sioux named Stands with a Fist, and Rodney Grant really grabbed me as the warrior Wind in His Hair. Hell I could go on and on about all the characters and how good they are because they all were amazing. The fact that a good chuck of the second half has to do with Costner observing daily life in the tribe also makes you want to see more because it is so damned interesting, and the buffalo hunt that finishes the first half is truly an epic moment. The one epic moment this movie has mind you, but I am always one to give credit where it’s due.
I also love the portrayal of the Sioux in this movie, and that is the film’s biggest strength. It’s a nice change of pace since Native Americans were normally seen as evil, blood thirsty savages with no souls in movies prior to this. Here the Sioux are shown as diplomatic, noble, and just trying to survive in what little land they’ve got left after Manifest Destiny has basically taken everything else. It is a grand statement that shattered stereotypes and really made me realize why this movie is as renowned as it is.
And I would be a huge hypocrite if I didn’t mention that the cinematography in this movie is just amazing. Every shot is beautifully framed and it really showcases the beautiful location they filmed in. Being somewhat of a would be amateur photographer I really love things like this, it makes the film awesome to look at even during those tedious parts in at the start, though it doesn’t make up for them.
So what are my final thoughts on this movie? I don’t hate it, but it’s not great by any means. It’s good, something that you watch once, maybe twice and that’s it. Sorry to both those wanting something more hate filled and to those wanting me to give this movie a standing ovation in this review, but I can sum it up pretty easily. The first half is shit, the second half is really good. That’s all I can really say, and the reason I didn’t ever have the desire to finish it in the past is because the first half is so insanely fucking boring. Yes, it picks up a lot in the second half, but to me that just highlights how boring the first half was. We spend so much time building Costner’s character and yet we never really get a glimpse at what his character is actually like, there are no real traits he has that make us want to see what happens to him. Hell, you could probably put a card board cut out into the role and it would still have the same effect, save for making the sex scene a little weirder. It showcases a misstep in him both directing and starring as he can’t put any character into his performance because this was his first movie be hind the camera and he probably had more shots lists and notes for other actors on his mind than his actual performance, not that he’s ever put a ton of thought into roles before or since. But what bugs me most is that a lot of the scenes, mostly in the first half, come off as very pretentious and I hate when a movie is doing arty shots or scenes for the sake of being arty and not really having a big point behind it. It’s overall a good movie, but I will not hold it against people if they get bored to tears in the first half and shut it off.