You may have been noticing that I have been somewhat lagging in between my reviews. The reason is really because I’m getting to a point were I’ll see a newer movie on DVD or in theaters and I’ll really have nothing to say. Either because it’s just aggressively average and all I can say is that it doesn’t suck, or there just isn’t really enough to make a review out of. You have no idea how hard it is to write a review for something as intensely mediocre as “Skyline”. But the real reason that I’m having trouble is that, well, I’m really not all that interested in a lot of the new movies coming out. I’ve honestly always been way more interested in the obscure and foreign, especially lately. Yeah, go ahead and call me an elitist film snob, I really don’t care. This is my blog, I will use it how I want, and talk about what interests me. So in that vain, let’s take a brief trip to Japan.
Bio-Booster Armor Guyver originally started life in the 80’s as a manga written by Yoshiki Takaya. Its story is that of a high school student named Shō Fukamachi, who finds a weird object that attacks him and grants him a powerful armor called The Guyver. However, it is an item highly sought after by the Chronos organization who send wave after wave of shape shifting monsters called Zoanoids to retrieve it from Shō, threatening his family and friends in the process.
Guyver gained a fair amount of popularity in Japan, spawning two OVAs (the Anime equivalent of Direct-To-Video/DVD) a feature film called “Out of Control” which was totally fine as stand alone movie, despite ending on a cliff hanger. And two separate seasons of six episodes each, which have some spotty animation and a hilariously bad dub, but are still enjoyable in their own right. The most recent iteration was a 26 episode televised Anime series that ran from 2005 to 2006.
I’m not here to talk about any of those however, at least not at this time. I’m here to talk about the two live action films produced by New Line Cinema in the early 90’s. Due to the popularity over seas, the still relatively small film company picked up the American film rights and handed the keys to Special Make up Effects Artists Screaming Mad George and Steve Wang, here giving their first go at directing. For a first shot, it’s actually a pretty damn good effort, the action is well shot and the fight choreography is really good, especially for something that clearly didn’t have a glorious budget, which is also a good description for the suit and creature effects. However, from what I can infer and have read or heard over the internet, producer Brian Yuzna enforced some creative changes on the first film. Notably a marketing campaign that made it appear that Luke Skywalker him self Mark Hamill was the title character, instead of the supporting role that he actually had. Worse still, it was decided that casting Jimmie Walker as one of the main Zoanoid characters would help bring in a wider audience and an appeal for the younger crowd. Not that Walker is a bad actor, but when they make him into what I can only describe as the result of a tequila fueled one night stand between one of the Gremlins and Jarjar Binks, then add that this thing raps in the movie, whole new level of horror is created. These changes pretty much ruin an otherwise enjoyable little B-movie.
This brings us to the sequel, Guyver 2: Dark Hero. You think that with a first outing like that the sequel can’t be any good, right? I mean if the movie made enough money and Yuzna was still on it, we’d probably get a movie that was full of potential that’s drug down by attempts to pander to everyone. Well that’s the thing, Yuzna wasn’t attached to this movie, a fact that you can clearly tell was a relief to returning director Steve Wang. The film’s rating was bumped from PG-13 to a much more freeing R and the Jive-a-noid is nowhere to be seen. Is it a great movie? Not really, but for mid 90’s low budger cheese it’s actually pretty damn entertaining.
The premise this time since the origin story is out of the way is that Sean Barker, The Guyver, has found out about an archeological dig where they may have some answers for him concerning the armor. However, once he’s there he realizes that Chronos is up to it’s old tricks again and they are soon beset by the evil zoanoids.
Again, the fight choreography is very impressive, with the added ability to show the Guyver doing what it’s actually know for, killing things brutally, makes the plot more interesting. Plus, to Wang’s credit you can tell that he’s doing the absolute best with what clearly couldn’t have been that big a budget.
It’s movies like this that make me hate things like the Transformers movies. This is a low budget action movie that shows how a director actually works with his constraints and makes a movie more enjoyable through how he cuts or shoots a scene. Things like Transformers just blow their wad on bleeding edge CGI robots and shove them in your face… After, of course, they show off the jock strap clad ass of a middle aged man, dogs humping and a giant robot’s testicles. (No, I’m not ever letting that one go, now shut up!) It’s clear that Steve Wang just had much more respect for the original source material than Bay did.
I know, I’ve harped on this before, but I’m going to do it again, the robots in Transformers barely do anything in their own movie. Not only that, when they actually do something, it’s over way too quick and they may as well have not been in the movies anyway. By contrast, “Guyver 2: Dark Hero” is only about 90 minutes long, and the Guyver appears for four fight scenes in the entire run time. All four last about five to seven minutes a piece. Put simply, the title character appears, and actually does stuff, in over a third of the actual movie, and when he isn’t they are revealing aspects of his character or having the bad guys the Zoanoids doing things.
The bad news when it comes to Guyver 2, is that the acting is pretty much terrible. It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen, but it is pretty awful, notably the female lead and the main villain. However, this doesn’t take away from the film’s entertainment value. If nothing else it adds to it with some great potential for riffing.
Basically if you’re looking for something to have at a night of cheesy monster movies, “Guyver 2: Dark Hero” is more than worth your time. It has a couple hiccups here and there, but nothing to jarring. Check it out.
2.5 rubber monsters out of 5.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
Captain America: The First Avenger
So, a heads up about “Captain America”, stay through the end of the credits, they include the first teaser of the upcoming “Avengers” movie. Now, the review proper can begin.
Captain America has always been a staple of the universe in Marvel Comics, if for no other reason because he’s one of the three key members of Marvel’s super hero team, The Avengers. However, Capt. has had a rough time making the transition from page to screen. There were two made for TV efforts done in the late 70’s with cult B movie action star Reb Brown in the title role, which were boring and nonsensical not to mention embarrassing for all involved. Then in 1990 the first theatrical attempt came out, it was slightly better if for no other reason it had Captain’s arch nemesis, the Red Skull, in it and featured more of his back story from the comics, buuuuuut it was another real dud because it’s action was boring, Captain America really didn’t do much and it had a whole bunch of WTF moments in it.
So not only does this new movie have the pressure of trying to actually bring this character to the big screen in a respectable way, it also has to be able to put the last remaining pieces together for the Avengers team up. This is no easy task, so how did it do? Amazingly!
This movie is extremely good. Other critics have called it the best of the Marvel Studios adaptations, and I whole heartedly agree. The main reason being that, for once, “Captain America” takes itself 100% seriously. Yes, you heard right, a movie about a guy that fights evil in a costume that is basically the American flag, takes itself seriously. The big problem that I can see with the other movies is that they were trying to hide it’s Americana origins by either down playing it and just turning him literally into Batman on steroids, or just kind of vaguely hint at it in the film’s opening before going the exact same route.
This time, the film’s action is set in the midst of World War 2, and Steve Rogers is trying to enlist in the army to help defeat the Nazis, but is unable to do so because of his own poor health. He’s then given an option to do so as a test subject for a super soldier serum. However, when the scientist is murdered and the last of the serum lost, Steve is the only such soldier to be created and thus becomes Captain America.
What makes this work is Chris Evans as Steve Rogers. He plays the character’s intense good guy, stand up for what you believe, never run from a fight persona with a HUGE amount of sincerity. In fact his performance helps the film over come one of its bigger flaws as far as special effects, because while you can in fact tell, really easily too, that they are using CGI to make him look puny and scrawny early on, Evans performance really make you not care. I’ll elaborate on that in a moment but the fact that the actor in the role is actually playing it straight, as a good man that got the chance to be a great hero is actually something that makes it really enjoyable. In fact the first time that you see him in the Captain America costume, he’s doing so to sell war bonds and boost national morale in the fight against the Axis. You’d think that he’d be resentful or emo about this, but no, he takes it seriously and goes at it like it was just as noble as if he were actually punching Hitler in the face, instead of just some guy in a costume.
All the other actors also take this very serious. Tommy Lee Jones almost steals the whole movie as Steve’s CO, and Stanley Tucci is very moving as the scientist that gives Steve his shot at glory. The love interest, played Hayley Atwell, is actually really interesting as a character first and as if director Joe Johnston hadn’t given us a delicious enough sundae, her chemistry with Evans is so good that I finally get to have some proof that I don’t hate a movie for having a love story because this one is actually, you know, well told and interesting.
Added to this, it has really stellar action and the way they have the good Captain fight in the movie is impressive and creative, it’s almost as if he has no real style to his fighting, more he just dives in and uses his own will power and cunning to make it out alive, again, going back to how seriously they took his character. On top of that, you can actually see every single punch and know who is shooting at what… You getting all this Michael Bay? Do you need a pen and paper to write notes on? The action has weight, and yet, it’s done quite simply. For action to be good, you need to have a tenable, emotional connection to what is going on. This movie’s villains are basically explained thusly, I’m not making this up, they are more evil than the Nazis. No, I’m serious, they just set them up to be unapologetically evil and could only be shown as more so if you saw them murdering puppies or something like that. And yet it actually works, you hate these guys and want good guys to bring them down. So when you see the Captain bash a guy’s face in with his shield, you punch the air yelling “YES!” I would like to invoke the great Bruce Lee here. When it comes to any kind of action or fight scene, the most important thing is that “We need emotional content”. And “Captain America” has that in spades. When you see someone vaporized in “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” it’s just manipulative, it’s quite literally the movie telling you: “This is bad, you should be really concerned and sad now, or something I guess.” In “Captain America” the organization Hydra also has vaporizing weapons, but when you see someone get vaporized here, it feels like it’s out of a war movie. You get upset when these people die, even if you’ve never seen them before or knew their name.
In fact the only problem I can really find with “Captain America” is that it has a few moments where the effects kind of show that they are really just Special effects, but that’s not a bad thing. Things like the original “Clash of the Titans” or even further back, “King Kong” are the same way, but the films really makes them work through performances, story and other such things. Like I said earlier, early on the effects used to make Chris Evans scrawny and out of shape aren’t quite up to snuff but at the same time, Evan’s performance makes up for it and it goes back to that emotional content argument from before.
When all is said and done, I loved “Captain America”. It was well written, perfectly paced and a testament to how you can make something hard to adapt into a workable product. It never compromises or feels ashamed of itself. If “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” was the perfect example of the lowest grade I can give a film, “Captain America: The First Avenger” is the perfect example of the highest grade I can give a film. It’s well written, solidly directed and wonderfully performed. I highly recommend seeing it while in theaters and can’t wait to see the Captain in action in “The Avengers” again and hope that his own sequel is swiftly to follow.
I give “Captain America: The First Avenger”
5 moments of uncommon valor out of 5.
Captain America has always been a staple of the universe in Marvel Comics, if for no other reason because he’s one of the three key members of Marvel’s super hero team, The Avengers. However, Capt. has had a rough time making the transition from page to screen. There were two made for TV efforts done in the late 70’s with cult B movie action star Reb Brown in the title role, which were boring and nonsensical not to mention embarrassing for all involved. Then in 1990 the first theatrical attempt came out, it was slightly better if for no other reason it had Captain’s arch nemesis, the Red Skull, in it and featured more of his back story from the comics, buuuuuut it was another real dud because it’s action was boring, Captain America really didn’t do much and it had a whole bunch of WTF moments in it.
So not only does this new movie have the pressure of trying to actually bring this character to the big screen in a respectable way, it also has to be able to put the last remaining pieces together for the Avengers team up. This is no easy task, so how did it do? Amazingly!
This movie is extremely good. Other critics have called it the best of the Marvel Studios adaptations, and I whole heartedly agree. The main reason being that, for once, “Captain America” takes itself 100% seriously. Yes, you heard right, a movie about a guy that fights evil in a costume that is basically the American flag, takes itself seriously. The big problem that I can see with the other movies is that they were trying to hide it’s Americana origins by either down playing it and just turning him literally into Batman on steroids, or just kind of vaguely hint at it in the film’s opening before going the exact same route.
This time, the film’s action is set in the midst of World War 2, and Steve Rogers is trying to enlist in the army to help defeat the Nazis, but is unable to do so because of his own poor health. He’s then given an option to do so as a test subject for a super soldier serum. However, when the scientist is murdered and the last of the serum lost, Steve is the only such soldier to be created and thus becomes Captain America.
What makes this work is Chris Evans as Steve Rogers. He plays the character’s intense good guy, stand up for what you believe, never run from a fight persona with a HUGE amount of sincerity. In fact his performance helps the film over come one of its bigger flaws as far as special effects, because while you can in fact tell, really easily too, that they are using CGI to make him look puny and scrawny early on, Evans performance really make you not care. I’ll elaborate on that in a moment but the fact that the actor in the role is actually playing it straight, as a good man that got the chance to be a great hero is actually something that makes it really enjoyable. In fact the first time that you see him in the Captain America costume, he’s doing so to sell war bonds and boost national morale in the fight against the Axis. You’d think that he’d be resentful or emo about this, but no, he takes it seriously and goes at it like it was just as noble as if he were actually punching Hitler in the face, instead of just some guy in a costume.
All the other actors also take this very serious. Tommy Lee Jones almost steals the whole movie as Steve’s CO, and Stanley Tucci is very moving as the scientist that gives Steve his shot at glory. The love interest, played Hayley Atwell, is actually really interesting as a character first and as if director Joe Johnston hadn’t given us a delicious enough sundae, her chemistry with Evans is so good that I finally get to have some proof that I don’t hate a movie for having a love story because this one is actually, you know, well told and interesting.
Added to this, it has really stellar action and the way they have the good Captain fight in the movie is impressive and creative, it’s almost as if he has no real style to his fighting, more he just dives in and uses his own will power and cunning to make it out alive, again, going back to how seriously they took his character. On top of that, you can actually see every single punch and know who is shooting at what… You getting all this Michael Bay? Do you need a pen and paper to write notes on? The action has weight, and yet, it’s done quite simply. For action to be good, you need to have a tenable, emotional connection to what is going on. This movie’s villains are basically explained thusly, I’m not making this up, they are more evil than the Nazis. No, I’m serious, they just set them up to be unapologetically evil and could only be shown as more so if you saw them murdering puppies or something like that. And yet it actually works, you hate these guys and want good guys to bring them down. So when you see the Captain bash a guy’s face in with his shield, you punch the air yelling “YES!” I would like to invoke the great Bruce Lee here. When it comes to any kind of action or fight scene, the most important thing is that “We need emotional content”. And “Captain America” has that in spades. When you see someone vaporized in “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” it’s just manipulative, it’s quite literally the movie telling you: “This is bad, you should be really concerned and sad now, or something I guess.” In “Captain America” the organization Hydra also has vaporizing weapons, but when you see someone get vaporized here, it feels like it’s out of a war movie. You get upset when these people die, even if you’ve never seen them before or knew their name.
In fact the only problem I can really find with “Captain America” is that it has a few moments where the effects kind of show that they are really just Special effects, but that’s not a bad thing. Things like the original “Clash of the Titans” or even further back, “King Kong” are the same way, but the films really makes them work through performances, story and other such things. Like I said earlier, early on the effects used to make Chris Evans scrawny and out of shape aren’t quite up to snuff but at the same time, Evan’s performance makes up for it and it goes back to that emotional content argument from before.
When all is said and done, I loved “Captain America”. It was well written, perfectly paced and a testament to how you can make something hard to adapt into a workable product. It never compromises or feels ashamed of itself. If “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” was the perfect example of the lowest grade I can give a film, “Captain America: The First Avenger” is the perfect example of the highest grade I can give a film. It’s well written, solidly directed and wonderfully performed. I highly recommend seeing it while in theaters and can’t wait to see the Captain in action in “The Avengers” again and hope that his own sequel is swiftly to follow.
I give “Captain America: The First Avenger”
5 moments of uncommon valor out of 5.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Transformers: Dark Of The Moon
You may have noticed if you read my blog with any regularity that I have a big thing for bashing on Michael Bay. The main reason is that I really don’t like his movies (save for “The Rock” which I’ve already gone over) or directing style all that much. It just seems like the exact combination of elements to really put me off, plus the whole Platinum Dunes remaking every good horror movie thing earns him no points in my book. But the big reason that I can’t stand this director is because he has made two movies that I cannot stand, at all, even if you paid me millions of dollars I would not say that these movies were even remotely good. One was “Pearl Harbor”, a movie that was incredibly boring, not to mention kind of insulting if you ask me since it was supposed to be this big tribute to the men lost in tragic event of the title, but was actually a really badly written love story that went exactly nowhere. The other was “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”. Now, I didn’t grow up with the transformers, they were around and I have fond memories of that one animated movie with kick ass music, but I was never hardcore into them. I just want people to know that I’m not some whiny fan boy or something like that, especially since I thought the first live action movie was a perfectly average summer blockbuster, meaning that it’s not actually that great a movie but I at least thought it was somewhat entertaining. However, when the sequel came out, I left the theater and the first thing that came out of my mouth was “That was the worst theater going experience of my life.” I HATED that movie so much. It was a stupid, low brow intelligence insulting piece of shit that ran waaaaaay to long and had nothing redeeming about it. The fact that I had to add giant robot testicles and the bare ass of a middle aged man to a list of things that shouldn’t be in a Transformers movie should explain why I really really disliked that movie.
So in a way, this third and dear god please let it be the last installment of the franchise gets to be a great catharsis for me because I can vent all my frustrations on the second movie and bash it’s sequel at the same time, oh SPOILER ALERT! “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” sucks! In fact, the nicest thing I can say about this movie is that yes, it IS better than “Revenge of the Fallen”, but since that puts the bar so low that it’s actually gone through the core of the Earth that really isn’t saying much, especially since it still has most of the same problems. For one, over two thirds of the movie is Shia LeBouf complaining that life isn’t fair… When’s he’s had a free ride to an Ivy League school, dated two super models, has a car that turns into a robot AND got a freaking medal from the president (which he will not let you forget. EVER!) Dude, shut up! If you’re life sucks than mine is completely a waste of existence by comparison. Also, I’m really starting to notice that outside the fact that Mr. LeBeouf is pretty much the textbook definition one note, Sam Whitwicky is actually a HUGE asshole. He insults the Autobots all the time, is so freaking self entitled that even Al Bundy would tell him to let it go, and to top it off SERIOUS anger problems. He flies into pointless blinding rages so often in this movie, and HE’S the one the audience is supposed to indentify with?
Then there are the numerous amounts of comic relief characters that serve exactly nothing for the plot, John Malkovich is kind of funny but totally pointless. Ken Juong is only there to give off a plot device and give us a really bad stereotype with some really bad homophobic humor before giving us the most satisfying death of the movie. John Turturo is back and as “zany” as ever, the list still goes on and on. Why? Why so many human characters in a movie ABOUT GIANT ROBOTS?! While we’re on it, the Megan Fox-bot version 2.0 (real name Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) is just as wooden as, and only slightly more visually attractive than the last model, not to mention it’s pretty clear that they just went into Microsoft Word and did a find/replace on the names. Plus the exploitation of her is offensive and horribly so. Yes Michael Bay, I think she’s cute too, but I don’t need an almost full minute shot of her ass, thank you.
That’s always been the overall problem with these movies. It’s supposed to be about the robots, they’re in the title, the posters feature them prominently, all the previews show the footage that has them, you get my point. So someone tell me, please explain to me in detail. WHY ARE THE ROBOTS THE B-STORY IN THEIR OWN GODDAMN MOVIE?! NO! I am NOT more interested in the stupid conspiracy sub plot! NO! I am NOT interested Shia LaBeouf being jealous of his girl friend’s boss! NO! I do not give a damn about what has happened with the guys from N.E.S.T.! For the love of God, it’s so simple, you call the movie Transformers. That to me means they must spend just as much time, if not MORE than the human characters in this movie. Adding even more insult to that, most of the action is actually the army doing stuff with most of the robot action being done off screen or only done in the last minute or so of a fight. To the people that say they want to see this movie for “robots fighting”, you will leave very disappointed. Bay has described this movie as “Black Hawk Down”, only with a homeland bend… and giant robots. Ok, ignoring that Michael Bay will NEVER make a movie as good as “Black Hawk Down” and while we’re at it, will NEVER have the kind of clout Ridley Scott has, how is this a good idea? Not to spoil but, the plot of “Black Hawk Down” was that everything went tits up and it was all about fixing the upwardly inclined mammories, in the process showing the soldier’s drive and determination to get out alive. This is not a bad plot, but it doesn’t really give much room to let the whole giant robots thing happen.
And on top of all this, Bay screws with his stupid pitch even more by not letting it have a coherent tone. One scene will be dark, and those with kids planning on seeing this, charred human remains and people being vaporized here. Then, we’ll turn around and have some horribly crowbarred slap stick or bawdy jokes, you know things that four years olds wouldn’t even find funny. For a frame of reference, before sitting down to write this I re-watched about 20 minutes of the animated Transformers movie. In that 20 minutes, yes a lot of the robots were killed, but they were major characters, giving their deaths weight, not to mention you could tell which robots were which a whole hell of a lot better, something the new movies can’t claim. Plus even the dark opening of one giant robot destroying an entire planet worked because it established a major threat that started the plot going. This 20 minutes was by far better thought out than this 200 million dollar, 155 minute live action movie!
Folks, I seriously could go on and on complaining about this movie. I have merely scratched the surface here and as I write this review, the movie has already made more than 162 million dollars in the states… A fact that just makes me feel so depressed. Yes, it’s just a movie, but for someone that loves movies as much as I do, knowing that one of the highest grossing movies of the years is going to be a bloated two and half hour mess of a movie, who’s only positive is that it’s slightly less painful in some regards to the last movie makes me just feel so… Defeated, I’m just done with this. Don’t go to this movie, at all! Oh, and Happy Fourth Everybody!
0 out of 5
And to show you that I don’t just have contempt for movies that you can just turn your brain off for, here’s a list of movies that fit that description and are by far more entertaining than all three of the Transformers movies, combined.
- Godzilla: Final Wars (the only way I will sit through another Transformers movie is if Ryuhei Kitamura is announced as the director)
- Broken Arrow
- Commmando
- The Punisher: War Zone
- Lethal Weapon 1,2,3 & 4
- Die Hard 1, 2, 3 & 4
- The Rock (Yes, there is an entertaining Michael Bay movie, fair is fair.)
- Robocop 1 & 2
- True Lies
- Hard Boiled (You can watch it dubbed if you don’t like subtitles.)
- Top Gun
- Man On Fire
- ANY of the James Bond movies.
- El Mariachi
- Desperado
- From Dusk Till Dawn 1, 2 & 3
- Once Upon a Time In Mexico
- Sin City
- Planet Terror
- Machete
- RED
- The Fifth Element
- The A-Team
- Predator
- Predators
- Blade 1 & 2
- Hellboy 1 & 2
- Supercop 1 & 2
- City Hunter
- Police Story
- Rumble In The Bronx
- G.I. Joe: Rise Of Cobra (Yes, there IS a movie based on toys that I give a recommendation to!)
- Air Force One
- Heat
- Ronin
- Collateral
- Drunken Master 1 & 2
- Under Siege (Yes, I would much rather watch Seagal than this!)
- Hot Fuzz
- Evil Dead 2
- Army Of Darkness
- Assault on Precinct 13 (Either one, though I prefer Carpenter’s original a lot more.)
- Escape From New York
- Escape From L. A.
- John Carpenter’s Vampires
- Enter The Dragon
- Fists Of Fury
- The Chinese Connection
- Return of the Dragon (Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris, enough said.)
- Shoot ‘em Up
- Crank 1 & 2
- Speed Racer
- Kung Fu Hustle
- Kill Bill
- The Wild Bunch
- Conan The Barbarian
- Total Recall
- The Professional
- L. A. Confidential
- Domino
So in a way, this third and dear god please let it be the last installment of the franchise gets to be a great catharsis for me because I can vent all my frustrations on the second movie and bash it’s sequel at the same time, oh SPOILER ALERT! “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” sucks! In fact, the nicest thing I can say about this movie is that yes, it IS better than “Revenge of the Fallen”, but since that puts the bar so low that it’s actually gone through the core of the Earth that really isn’t saying much, especially since it still has most of the same problems. For one, over two thirds of the movie is Shia LeBouf complaining that life isn’t fair… When’s he’s had a free ride to an Ivy League school, dated two super models, has a car that turns into a robot AND got a freaking medal from the president (which he will not let you forget. EVER!) Dude, shut up! If you’re life sucks than mine is completely a waste of existence by comparison. Also, I’m really starting to notice that outside the fact that Mr. LeBeouf is pretty much the textbook definition one note, Sam Whitwicky is actually a HUGE asshole. He insults the Autobots all the time, is so freaking self entitled that even Al Bundy would tell him to let it go, and to top it off SERIOUS anger problems. He flies into pointless blinding rages so often in this movie, and HE’S the one the audience is supposed to indentify with?
Then there are the numerous amounts of comic relief characters that serve exactly nothing for the plot, John Malkovich is kind of funny but totally pointless. Ken Juong is only there to give off a plot device and give us a really bad stereotype with some really bad homophobic humor before giving us the most satisfying death of the movie. John Turturo is back and as “zany” as ever, the list still goes on and on. Why? Why so many human characters in a movie ABOUT GIANT ROBOTS?! While we’re on it, the Megan Fox-bot version 2.0 (real name Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) is just as wooden as, and only slightly more visually attractive than the last model, not to mention it’s pretty clear that they just went into Microsoft Word and did a find/replace on the names. Plus the exploitation of her is offensive and horribly so. Yes Michael Bay, I think she’s cute too, but I don’t need an almost full minute shot of her ass, thank you.
That’s always been the overall problem with these movies. It’s supposed to be about the robots, they’re in the title, the posters feature them prominently, all the previews show the footage that has them, you get my point. So someone tell me, please explain to me in detail. WHY ARE THE ROBOTS THE B-STORY IN THEIR OWN GODDAMN MOVIE?! NO! I am NOT more interested in the stupid conspiracy sub plot! NO! I am NOT interested Shia LaBeouf being jealous of his girl friend’s boss! NO! I do not give a damn about what has happened with the guys from N.E.S.T.! For the love of God, it’s so simple, you call the movie Transformers. That to me means they must spend just as much time, if not MORE than the human characters in this movie. Adding even more insult to that, most of the action is actually the army doing stuff with most of the robot action being done off screen or only done in the last minute or so of a fight. To the people that say they want to see this movie for “robots fighting”, you will leave very disappointed. Bay has described this movie as “Black Hawk Down”, only with a homeland bend… and giant robots. Ok, ignoring that Michael Bay will NEVER make a movie as good as “Black Hawk Down” and while we’re at it, will NEVER have the kind of clout Ridley Scott has, how is this a good idea? Not to spoil but, the plot of “Black Hawk Down” was that everything went tits up and it was all about fixing the upwardly inclined mammories, in the process showing the soldier’s drive and determination to get out alive. This is not a bad plot, but it doesn’t really give much room to let the whole giant robots thing happen.
And on top of all this, Bay screws with his stupid pitch even more by not letting it have a coherent tone. One scene will be dark, and those with kids planning on seeing this, charred human remains and people being vaporized here. Then, we’ll turn around and have some horribly crowbarred slap stick or bawdy jokes, you know things that four years olds wouldn’t even find funny. For a frame of reference, before sitting down to write this I re-watched about 20 minutes of the animated Transformers movie. In that 20 minutes, yes a lot of the robots were killed, but they were major characters, giving their deaths weight, not to mention you could tell which robots were which a whole hell of a lot better, something the new movies can’t claim. Plus even the dark opening of one giant robot destroying an entire planet worked because it established a major threat that started the plot going. This 20 minutes was by far better thought out than this 200 million dollar, 155 minute live action movie!
Folks, I seriously could go on and on complaining about this movie. I have merely scratched the surface here and as I write this review, the movie has already made more than 162 million dollars in the states… A fact that just makes me feel so depressed. Yes, it’s just a movie, but for someone that loves movies as much as I do, knowing that one of the highest grossing movies of the years is going to be a bloated two and half hour mess of a movie, who’s only positive is that it’s slightly less painful in some regards to the last movie makes me just feel so… Defeated, I’m just done with this. Don’t go to this movie, at all! Oh, and Happy Fourth Everybody!
0 out of 5
And to show you that I don’t just have contempt for movies that you can just turn your brain off for, here’s a list of movies that fit that description and are by far more entertaining than all three of the Transformers movies, combined.
- Godzilla: Final Wars (the only way I will sit through another Transformers movie is if Ryuhei Kitamura is announced as the director)
- Broken Arrow
- Commmando
- The Punisher: War Zone
- Lethal Weapon 1,2,3 & 4
- Die Hard 1, 2, 3 & 4
- The Rock (Yes, there is an entertaining Michael Bay movie, fair is fair.)
- Robocop 1 & 2
- True Lies
- Hard Boiled (You can watch it dubbed if you don’t like subtitles.)
- Top Gun
- Man On Fire
- ANY of the James Bond movies.
- El Mariachi
- Desperado
- From Dusk Till Dawn 1, 2 & 3
- Once Upon a Time In Mexico
- Sin City
- Planet Terror
- Machete
- RED
- The Fifth Element
- The A-Team
- Predator
- Predators
- Blade 1 & 2
- Hellboy 1 & 2
- Supercop 1 & 2
- City Hunter
- Police Story
- Rumble In The Bronx
- G.I. Joe: Rise Of Cobra (Yes, there IS a movie based on toys that I give a recommendation to!)
- Air Force One
- Heat
- Ronin
- Collateral
- Drunken Master 1 & 2
- Under Siege (Yes, I would much rather watch Seagal than this!)
- Hot Fuzz
- Evil Dead 2
- Army Of Darkness
- Assault on Precinct 13 (Either one, though I prefer Carpenter’s original a lot more.)
- Escape From New York
- Escape From L. A.
- John Carpenter’s Vampires
- Enter The Dragon
- Fists Of Fury
- The Chinese Connection
- Return of the Dragon (Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris, enough said.)
- Shoot ‘em Up
- Crank 1 & 2
- Speed Racer
- Kung Fu Hustle
- Kill Bill
- The Wild Bunch
- Conan The Barbarian
- Total Recall
- The Professional
- L. A. Confidential
- Domino
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Super 8
Trying to write a review for this movie is pretty hard because while J.J. Abrams’ “Super 8” is by no means a ‘perfect’ movie, it is really freaking good and it’s hard to make a very interesting review out of something like this because I don’t want to spoil the movie, but it’s hard to explain why the movie is so good while avoiding them. Thankfully being hard doesn’t instantly translate into impossible and thus, here we go.
The plot of “Super 8” is basically summed up as “E.T.” meets “Cloverfield”. In more details it’s about a bunch of kids in the late 70’s/early 80’s (They reference George Romero a lot, so I’m going to assume that Dawn of The Dead had come out, which puts this in the 1979 neighborhood.) that are making a zombie movie and while filming one night they witness a huge train crash. The military shows up and weird things start happening as they realize that what they filmed may be more important than they know.
So let’s get to what works, for the most part the script is really good, working in that character driven way that made things like “The Goonies” and “E.T.” work so well. Added to that the cast of young actors all play their parts well, seriously the kids are the best actors in this movie, Elle Fanning in particular is amazing and here’s hoping that this movie is the big jumping off point for a great career. Lead Joel Courtney does a nice job giving me flashbacks to Henry Thomas as Elliot and Kyle Chandler plays his father the deputy with a great balance of sadness and obsessive professionalism that creates a great dynamic between father and son.
However, as good as the movie is, I still have some quibbles with it. What really works is all the stuff with the kids and how they deal with seeing the train crash and what they do in its wake, and if the movie had stayed focused on that it’d be pretty much the template for a 5 star rating. Unfortunately it doesn’t, we spend just as much time with Chandler’s investigation of the weird goings on, and there’s a large amount of the story that’s devout to a military cover up story. Neither of these stories are really that well done and when you’re seriously wanting the b plot to go away so that the movie can be fun again, you really might as well not have the b plot.
But like I said, “Super 8” is a really really good movie despite those flaws I mentioned, which I feel to be minor hiccups in an overall damn good movie. I say go see it, it’s one of those rare summer movies that should be seen and is probably the closest we’re going to come to getting the spark that gave “The Goonies” such popularity and staying power for a long time.
Super 8 gets
4 mysterious disappearances out of 5
The plot of “Super 8” is basically summed up as “E.T.” meets “Cloverfield”. In more details it’s about a bunch of kids in the late 70’s/early 80’s (They reference George Romero a lot, so I’m going to assume that Dawn of The Dead had come out, which puts this in the 1979 neighborhood.) that are making a zombie movie and while filming one night they witness a huge train crash. The military shows up and weird things start happening as they realize that what they filmed may be more important than they know.
So let’s get to what works, for the most part the script is really good, working in that character driven way that made things like “The Goonies” and “E.T.” work so well. Added to that the cast of young actors all play their parts well, seriously the kids are the best actors in this movie, Elle Fanning in particular is amazing and here’s hoping that this movie is the big jumping off point for a great career. Lead Joel Courtney does a nice job giving me flashbacks to Henry Thomas as Elliot and Kyle Chandler plays his father the deputy with a great balance of sadness and obsessive professionalism that creates a great dynamic between father and son.
However, as good as the movie is, I still have some quibbles with it. What really works is all the stuff with the kids and how they deal with seeing the train crash and what they do in its wake, and if the movie had stayed focused on that it’d be pretty much the template for a 5 star rating. Unfortunately it doesn’t, we spend just as much time with Chandler’s investigation of the weird goings on, and there’s a large amount of the story that’s devout to a military cover up story. Neither of these stories are really that well done and when you’re seriously wanting the b plot to go away so that the movie can be fun again, you really might as well not have the b plot.
But like I said, “Super 8” is a really really good movie despite those flaws I mentioned, which I feel to be minor hiccups in an overall damn good movie. I say go see it, it’s one of those rare summer movies that should be seen and is probably the closest we’re going to come to getting the spark that gave “The Goonies” such popularity and staying power for a long time.
Super 8 gets
4 mysterious disappearances out of 5
Thursday, June 23, 2011
X Men: First Class
Marvel again, this is starting to look more and more like summer 2008 all over again. When it comes to comic books, you can find few series that can get as convoluted and confusing as the X-men. Be it the long continuity, the numerous characters, or the massive and I do mean MASSIVE amount of books they can have out in any given time. I’m a casual comic reader that’s starting to step his toe in to the vast waters of comic geekdom, but I can honestly say I am terrified by the sheer thought of trying to read X-Men, even with the help of things like Wikipedia to explain things. All that said, I do at least admire the characters and have been a fan of the animated TV shows and the first couple of live action movies. “X-men” and “X2: X-men United” were both very well done summer popcorn movies, but I felt a little bit of what I have come to call “Kill Bill Syndrome”, referring to genre style movies that get sequels that either lacked it’s predecessor’s narrative finesse or well paced character development, but had some stand out set pieces were just epic and made you not care too much, or vice versa. A great example is the two most recent James Bond movies. “Casino Royale” was a well played character driven movie with a couple decent action scenes but can drag at times, while “Quantum of Solace” had lots of great action but little substance outside bringing Bond some closure left over from the last movie. The first two X-men movies were very similar, the first one was all about action scenes with maybe some underlying racism/homophobia/prejudice metaphor the series has always been praised for, but that’s about it. The second movie had a much more substantive plot with some character development, particularly with Wolverine and Iceman, and MUCH more of the prejudice metaphor comes out here, though not too much in the way of stand out action. But as fair as I can be with movies, as much as I tend to give movies the benefit of the doubt, “X-men: The Last Stand” pretty much killed my enthusiasm for any further movies in the franchise, it was pretty weak both plot wise and in it’s action. The characters were bland save for Kelsey Grammer as Beast and Vinnie Jones as The Juggernaut, giving us that wonderful internet meme. (google “I’m the Juggernaut Bitch!” if you don’t know what I’m talking about.) It was lame, and actually pretty stupid at times, which is also why I didn’t see the Wolverine spin off, though from what I’ve heard and what little I’ve seen, I was the smart one there. So how is the new prequel “X-men: First Class”?
AWESOME!
This is seriously the first really really good super hero movie since “The Dark Knight”. Which is ironic because what made “The Dark Knight” work so well as a sequel was that all the set up was done in “Batman Begins” so we got to go right into the action and the movie got to surprise us with how much more dark and foreboding it was. This is basically the story behind all the things they mentioned all the way back in the first movie, we know that Magneto becomes a bad guy, we know that by movie’s end Professor X is going to end up in a wheel chair and we know that mutants are going to end up with a bad rap that won’t get any better, so how could this actually be better than the first X-men movies? Yes, I said it, this is far better, though the answer is a little tough to put into words besides just saying “HOLY SHIT THAT IS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER!”
A lot of the credit has to go to the two leads, Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy, most especially Fassbender, who basically gets to create his own sequel to “Inglorious Basterds” in the first act by killing Nazis that have gone into hiding, only since he’s Magneto he gets to use super powers. But while his villainous side is great, he adds a lot of humanity to the part as the film progresses. McAvoy’s Professor Xavier has a great humorous side as well as the acting chops to make it work with lines that sound like Star Trek techno babble version 1.0. The supporting cast is also very great with Jennifer Lawrence as the new Msytique, who actually talks a lot more and, you know has a character past being Rebecca Romijin in practically nothing but body make up. Nicholas Hoult does a great job as Beast who also has a well played romantic subplot with Lawrence. And rounding it is out is Kevin Bacon as villain Sebastian Shaw, giving a nicely over top the performance in addition to yet another way for me to dominate in the six degrees of separation game.
But what is the plot you ask? Why, simply that Sebastian Shaw is set upon destroying humanity. He chooses to accomplish this by instigating an international incident at the height of the Cold War via the Cuban Missile Crisis. But the US has contracted Xavier and Magneto to create their own mutant team to stop them. To put it as an associate of mine did, it’s summed up like this: “How do you make the Cuban Missile Crisis awesome? Throw in superpowers.”
The mutant fights scenes are well handled giving everyone a chance to shine, and also showing that Matthew Vaughn’s ability to make “Kick Ass” actually… Kick ass, was not merely a once in a lifetime fluke. He also seems to get that with something like X-men, you can’t screw up the quiet moments either. Even when nothing much is happening on the screen visually, which is rare, the atmosphere and tension is so thick you’d need a bayonet the size of Michael Bay’s ego to cut through it. It’s filled with intrigue, suspense, and well rounded characters keep you so interested in every frame of this movie. Even things you know are coming, like Magneto’s turn to evil, pack a huge dramatic punch because it’s so well handled and built up to.
All this said, it is not without its short comings. January Jones of “Mad Men” fame, is certainly easy on the eyes, but doesn’t really have a lot of range, not helped by her character being not particularly well written as the stock femme fatale cliché. Also while Jason Fleming does add a lot without saying much as teleporting mutant Azazel, his character does remain a bit of a mystery, which in theory is ok, but something about the execution bugged me. But these are all nit picks, and don’t really spoil the movie.
Do I need to say anymore? Go see this movie! If you’ve seen it already, SEE IT AGAIN! Show the studios that this is what we want from comic book movies!
X-Men: First Class gets from me:
5 STARS out of 5
AWESOME!
This is seriously the first really really good super hero movie since “The Dark Knight”. Which is ironic because what made “The Dark Knight” work so well as a sequel was that all the set up was done in “Batman Begins” so we got to go right into the action and the movie got to surprise us with how much more dark and foreboding it was. This is basically the story behind all the things they mentioned all the way back in the first movie, we know that Magneto becomes a bad guy, we know that by movie’s end Professor X is going to end up in a wheel chair and we know that mutants are going to end up with a bad rap that won’t get any better, so how could this actually be better than the first X-men movies? Yes, I said it, this is far better, though the answer is a little tough to put into words besides just saying “HOLY SHIT THAT IS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER!”
A lot of the credit has to go to the two leads, Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy, most especially Fassbender, who basically gets to create his own sequel to “Inglorious Basterds” in the first act by killing Nazis that have gone into hiding, only since he’s Magneto he gets to use super powers. But while his villainous side is great, he adds a lot of humanity to the part as the film progresses. McAvoy’s Professor Xavier has a great humorous side as well as the acting chops to make it work with lines that sound like Star Trek techno babble version 1.0. The supporting cast is also very great with Jennifer Lawrence as the new Msytique, who actually talks a lot more and, you know has a character past being Rebecca Romijin in practically nothing but body make up. Nicholas Hoult does a great job as Beast who also has a well played romantic subplot with Lawrence. And rounding it is out is Kevin Bacon as villain Sebastian Shaw, giving a nicely over top the performance in addition to yet another way for me to dominate in the six degrees of separation game.
But what is the plot you ask? Why, simply that Sebastian Shaw is set upon destroying humanity. He chooses to accomplish this by instigating an international incident at the height of the Cold War via the Cuban Missile Crisis. But the US has contracted Xavier and Magneto to create their own mutant team to stop them. To put it as an associate of mine did, it’s summed up like this: “How do you make the Cuban Missile Crisis awesome? Throw in superpowers.”
The mutant fights scenes are well handled giving everyone a chance to shine, and also showing that Matthew Vaughn’s ability to make “Kick Ass” actually… Kick ass, was not merely a once in a lifetime fluke. He also seems to get that with something like X-men, you can’t screw up the quiet moments either. Even when nothing much is happening on the screen visually, which is rare, the atmosphere and tension is so thick you’d need a bayonet the size of Michael Bay’s ego to cut through it. It’s filled with intrigue, suspense, and well rounded characters keep you so interested in every frame of this movie. Even things you know are coming, like Magneto’s turn to evil, pack a huge dramatic punch because it’s so well handled and built up to.
All this said, it is not without its short comings. January Jones of “Mad Men” fame, is certainly easy on the eyes, but doesn’t really have a lot of range, not helped by her character being not particularly well written as the stock femme fatale cliché. Also while Jason Fleming does add a lot without saying much as teleporting mutant Azazel, his character does remain a bit of a mystery, which in theory is ok, but something about the execution bugged me. But these are all nit picks, and don’t really spoil the movie.
Do I need to say anymore? Go see this movie! If you’ve seen it already, SEE IT AGAIN! Show the studios that this is what we want from comic book movies!
X-Men: First Class gets from me:
5 STARS out of 5
Friday, June 3, 2011
The Hangover Part II... and something extra.
“The Hangover” was one of those rare comedies that was both a really interesting and well executed idea that made for an astoundingly good movie, as well as being a good bet for big box office with raunchy jokes and the fan base of “Daily Show” and “The Office” regular Ed Helms, as well as cult stand up comedian Zach Galifianakis. Its premise of three guys that had a crazy night in Vegas that they couldn’t remember is just a great concept and I really enjoyed it. That said, it really didn’t lend itself to a sequel, and that really shows in the one we got.
I’m not really going to say much here. There really is nothing to say about this movie other than it’s a slightly less funny version of the first one set in Bangkok, Thailand instead of Las Vegas, and instead of looking for their friend Doug, they’re looking for Ed Helm’s future brother in law. All the returning cast is just as good as they were last time and the new additions are for the most part barely in the movie. The jokes are pretty much either clones of the first movie’s jokes or just the guys talking about the first movie’s events. I mean it was nice to see how these characters have all dealt with it after the fact, but it just really made me wish I was watching the first movie because this movie is just a big retread of all the major plot point of the first one. It is a competent comedy but the first one was much better and director Todd Phillip’s last movie “Due Date” was far far funnier than this. If you really really want to see these three twits stumble their way through another retrace our steps type mystery comedy, that’s fine, but do yourself a favor and save the $11 dollars for a theater ticket and just wait for DVD.
“The Hangover part 2” gets
2 next day surprises out of 5.
So since there really isn’t that much to say about “The Hangover part 2”, and I don’t want to leave you with just half of a review, let’s talk Direct to DVD! In the realm of superheroes, both Marvel and DC are starting to do more and more with major feature films involving their stables of heroes. Marvel I’ve already talked about, but DC has been another story entirely. In recent film history the only big movie success they’ve had has been the Christopher Nolan helmed “Batman Begins” and “The Dark Knight”, and the “Watchmen” adaptation that Zack Snyder did. However, aside from Snyder’s film they’ve had a little bit more trouble with their non-Batman main heroes. “Superman Returns” was a huge let down and was pretty much a weak rehash of the plot to the first movie, and all attempts to make a Wonder Woman movie have failed resulting in a compromise TV show premiering this fall. They seem to be headed in the right direction this summer with the first live action Green Lantern movie, but the proof will be in the pudding there, though I’m remaining optimistic.
Where DC is having much better success, is in the direct to video animated films, such as “The Death Of Superman” and “Green Lantern: First Flight”. These movies are made more for the fans of the comics and thus don’t really have to over explain origins or the like so they have a little more breathing room since they know the audience is going to be people that know the basics anyway. They’ve been all pretty entertaining for the most part with really good animation and voice acting, not to mention some of the most kick ass action I’ve seen in anything animated not originally from Japan. Thus we come to their latest release “All Star Superman” based on the comic series of the same name written by Grant Morrison and drawn by Frank Quitely.
Now, I’m going to say something here, my all time favorite super hero movie is Richard Donner’s “Superman The Movie”. I saw it at a very young age and it’s a movie that I always know can cheer me up. It has amazing visuals that I honestly say still hold up today, not to mention the performances were all really really good and it really made Superman an interesting and well rounded character. The irony is that if there is one comic book character I don’t really like reading, it’s Superman. That’s just a general preference, but to me, a lot of the times I find his books a little boring because he’s so powerful that it just gets absurd or boring because you know he’ll win some way, some how thanks to his powers, resulting in lack of tension. There are however, two exceptions so far that I have really enjoyed reading, “Superman for all seasons” in which his early life and career as the man of steel is told, where he feels like a real human character. The other being “All Star Superman” which I only finished reading recently.
The premise, more or less done here in the movie, is that Superman rescues the first manned mission to the Sun and in the process is over exposed to the solar radiation that give him his power. This results in him being stronger than he has ever been before, but he’s also slowly dying. What follows are some of the most amazing feats Superman has ever performed, as well as some very nice pay off to his romance with Lois Lane and getting to see this character, that’s been called a god among men and other things of the like, deal with his inevitable death. Without spoiling anything the comic is really really worth a look if you enjoy the medium and the movie is most definitely worth a watch.
The animation recreates Quitely’s art from the comics flawlessly, and the action scenes are really well done. All the voice actors sound really believable in the parts and the script is a very faithful adaptation of Morrison’s story.
All that said, there are some hiccups here and there. My favorite part of the story, involving superman saving the Earth from the Bizarro home world and then having to escape is not here, it’s a shame though not a total deal breaker. Also, since the story was released as what is essentially a mini series, the issues were all for the most part episodic with the running theme of Superman accomplishing his most amazing feats connecting them together. It works fine in a serialized comic, but not quite as a 90 minute movie. It isn’t a real bad thing but it doesn’t really feel like a solid narrative structure.
So if you’re a fan of Superman, or a fan of animation, I say check it out. Just keep an open mind and don’t let the somewhat choppy nature of the story line deter you.
I give “All Star Superman”
4 Moments of Awesome out of 5
I’m not really going to say much here. There really is nothing to say about this movie other than it’s a slightly less funny version of the first one set in Bangkok, Thailand instead of Las Vegas, and instead of looking for their friend Doug, they’re looking for Ed Helm’s future brother in law. All the returning cast is just as good as they were last time and the new additions are for the most part barely in the movie. The jokes are pretty much either clones of the first movie’s jokes or just the guys talking about the first movie’s events. I mean it was nice to see how these characters have all dealt with it after the fact, but it just really made me wish I was watching the first movie because this movie is just a big retread of all the major plot point of the first one. It is a competent comedy but the first one was much better and director Todd Phillip’s last movie “Due Date” was far far funnier than this. If you really really want to see these three twits stumble their way through another retrace our steps type mystery comedy, that’s fine, but do yourself a favor and save the $11 dollars for a theater ticket and just wait for DVD.
“The Hangover part 2” gets
2 next day surprises out of 5.
So since there really isn’t that much to say about “The Hangover part 2”, and I don’t want to leave you with just half of a review, let’s talk Direct to DVD! In the realm of superheroes, both Marvel and DC are starting to do more and more with major feature films involving their stables of heroes. Marvel I’ve already talked about, but DC has been another story entirely. In recent film history the only big movie success they’ve had has been the Christopher Nolan helmed “Batman Begins” and “The Dark Knight”, and the “Watchmen” adaptation that Zack Snyder did. However, aside from Snyder’s film they’ve had a little bit more trouble with their non-Batman main heroes. “Superman Returns” was a huge let down and was pretty much a weak rehash of the plot to the first movie, and all attempts to make a Wonder Woman movie have failed resulting in a compromise TV show premiering this fall. They seem to be headed in the right direction this summer with the first live action Green Lantern movie, but the proof will be in the pudding there, though I’m remaining optimistic.
Where DC is having much better success, is in the direct to video animated films, such as “The Death Of Superman” and “Green Lantern: First Flight”. These movies are made more for the fans of the comics and thus don’t really have to over explain origins or the like so they have a little more breathing room since they know the audience is going to be people that know the basics anyway. They’ve been all pretty entertaining for the most part with really good animation and voice acting, not to mention some of the most kick ass action I’ve seen in anything animated not originally from Japan. Thus we come to their latest release “All Star Superman” based on the comic series of the same name written by Grant Morrison and drawn by Frank Quitely.
Now, I’m going to say something here, my all time favorite super hero movie is Richard Donner’s “Superman The Movie”. I saw it at a very young age and it’s a movie that I always know can cheer me up. It has amazing visuals that I honestly say still hold up today, not to mention the performances were all really really good and it really made Superman an interesting and well rounded character. The irony is that if there is one comic book character I don’t really like reading, it’s Superman. That’s just a general preference, but to me, a lot of the times I find his books a little boring because he’s so powerful that it just gets absurd or boring because you know he’ll win some way, some how thanks to his powers, resulting in lack of tension. There are however, two exceptions so far that I have really enjoyed reading, “Superman for all seasons” in which his early life and career as the man of steel is told, where he feels like a real human character. The other being “All Star Superman” which I only finished reading recently.
The premise, more or less done here in the movie, is that Superman rescues the first manned mission to the Sun and in the process is over exposed to the solar radiation that give him his power. This results in him being stronger than he has ever been before, but he’s also slowly dying. What follows are some of the most amazing feats Superman has ever performed, as well as some very nice pay off to his romance with Lois Lane and getting to see this character, that’s been called a god among men and other things of the like, deal with his inevitable death. Without spoiling anything the comic is really really worth a look if you enjoy the medium and the movie is most definitely worth a watch.
The animation recreates Quitely’s art from the comics flawlessly, and the action scenes are really well done. All the voice actors sound really believable in the parts and the script is a very faithful adaptation of Morrison’s story.
All that said, there are some hiccups here and there. My favorite part of the story, involving superman saving the Earth from the Bizarro home world and then having to escape is not here, it’s a shame though not a total deal breaker. Also, since the story was released as what is essentially a mini series, the issues were all for the most part episodic with the running theme of Superman accomplishing his most amazing feats connecting them together. It works fine in a serialized comic, but not quite as a 90 minute movie. It isn’t a real bad thing but it doesn’t really feel like a solid narrative structure.
So if you’re a fan of Superman, or a fan of animation, I say check it out. Just keep an open mind and don’t let the somewhat choppy nature of the story line deter you.
I give “All Star Superman”
4 Moments of Awesome out of 5
Friday, May 27, 2011
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Yes, they’ve made 4 of them now, and chances are you’ve probably already decided if you want to go see it or not. WE all like these movies in some shape or form. We all have our favorites and have our reasons for liking them. Personally, my favorite is the second one, because I liked the complex villain and I felt it had all the best action, not to mention the best Captain Jack Sparrow moments. However, with popularity this big, it means there’s only one thing for me to really do in this review, tell you whether it’s good or not. The answer to that is a little complicated though.
At a glance “On Stranger Tides” seems like it should be a pretty solid flick. It’s got Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush back as Jack and Barbossa, Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom aren’t in it, Jack has a love interest in the form of Penelope Cruz, and it has more mythical sea creatures, mermaids this time around. That’s all well and good, but this movie suffers the same thing most movies that make it this far in sequels tend to suffer from, predictability. Come on, you all know it, there have been three of these movies and they all basically had the same plot: Go here, action scene, find magical MacGuffin, action scene, go there, fight the bad guy (BIG ACTION SCENE!), dénouement where Johnny Depp does something funny or crazy. There you go.
The big prize this time is the fountain of youth, the villain dug up from pirate lore this time is Blackbeard played by the crazy good Ian McShane, and the quest is to collect four items (MacGuffins) to make the fountain actually work. Barbossa is in hot pursuit of Blackbeard who has Jack for a guide, and some how the Spanish are involved but the movie seems to keep forgetting they’re part of it, and then it suddenly remembers and finds a way to crowbar them back in. I’d even go so far as to suggest that the Spanish are only in this movie because of Ponce De Leone having gone to find the fountain in real life.
I digress, the plot isn’t really what the pirate movies have been about anyway, it’s the characters mixed with vaguely pirate folk lore sounding things that have kept it going. Yes, Captain Jack is still very funny, and yes Barbossa is still really cool as a grey area kind of guy, and Blackbeard steals the whole show by being self knowingly evil. That being said the movie does have a couple characters that are pretty interesting in theory, but end up basically getting pushed aside. Cruz’s Angelica is one such instance, being both a former lover of Jack’s and Blackbeard’s daughter is interesting, but they never really do much with it until the end. And then there is the priest character that, for some reason isn’t just killed by Blackbeard, despite refusing to kill anything and constantly talking about how the pirates are evil and that they can still be saved in God’s eyes if they just repent. He is pretty much completely useless and only exists to craft a stupid, not to mention COMPLETELY USELESS, romance plot with him and a mermaid.
On top of this, the action scenes that are supposed to keep most people interested are all boring. There aren’t nearly as many as in the second, third, or even the first one, and the ones we get really aren’t that good. Director Rob Marshall is most famous for directing “Chicago”, and lesser know for movies like “Memoirs of a Geisha” and “Nine” (NOT the animated movie about the living sock puppets.), and his lack of action experience really shows in these scenes. Most of them are either dull or anticlimactic, and when that’s not the case they’re just rehashing things from the previous movies. But what actually angers me most thinking back, is that the movie has NO ship battles. No broad sides of cannon fire, no ship tactics that turn the tide of battle, no man the guns, nothing. That was always what I liked about these movies! Sword fights? I can see that anywhere. Crazy stunts? That’s why God gave us Jackie Chan movies. But this movie just doesn’t do it. Hell, even in the last movie, which most people acknowledge wasn’t all that good, had several of those and it made the movie actually feel like a pirate movie. This just feels more like a bad Indiana Jones knock off than a pirate movie. In fact, most everything from the original movies is gone, most notably the Black Pearl. They could have called it anything and it would have made just as much sense.
When all is said and done, I really didn’t care for this movie. That said, if all you want from the movie is to have Jack Sparrow have more screen time than he has in the other movies, or you really just want to see all of the “Pirates” movies in theaters, then you probably won’t be disappointed. I however, was thoroughly disappointed by this movie, it was dull, long and I really just wanted it to end. It didn’t win any points with me other than having Jack in it, something we know they wouldn’t be stupid enough not to do anyway. I’d say skip it.
I give Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
1 magical MacGuffin out of 5
At a glance “On Stranger Tides” seems like it should be a pretty solid flick. It’s got Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush back as Jack and Barbossa, Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom aren’t in it, Jack has a love interest in the form of Penelope Cruz, and it has more mythical sea creatures, mermaids this time around. That’s all well and good, but this movie suffers the same thing most movies that make it this far in sequels tend to suffer from, predictability. Come on, you all know it, there have been three of these movies and they all basically had the same plot: Go here, action scene, find magical MacGuffin, action scene, go there, fight the bad guy (BIG ACTION SCENE!), dénouement where Johnny Depp does something funny or crazy. There you go.
The big prize this time is the fountain of youth, the villain dug up from pirate lore this time is Blackbeard played by the crazy good Ian McShane, and the quest is to collect four items (MacGuffins) to make the fountain actually work. Barbossa is in hot pursuit of Blackbeard who has Jack for a guide, and some how the Spanish are involved but the movie seems to keep forgetting they’re part of it, and then it suddenly remembers and finds a way to crowbar them back in. I’d even go so far as to suggest that the Spanish are only in this movie because of Ponce De Leone having gone to find the fountain in real life.
I digress, the plot isn’t really what the pirate movies have been about anyway, it’s the characters mixed with vaguely pirate folk lore sounding things that have kept it going. Yes, Captain Jack is still very funny, and yes Barbossa is still really cool as a grey area kind of guy, and Blackbeard steals the whole show by being self knowingly evil. That being said the movie does have a couple characters that are pretty interesting in theory, but end up basically getting pushed aside. Cruz’s Angelica is one such instance, being both a former lover of Jack’s and Blackbeard’s daughter is interesting, but they never really do much with it until the end. And then there is the priest character that, for some reason isn’t just killed by Blackbeard, despite refusing to kill anything and constantly talking about how the pirates are evil and that they can still be saved in God’s eyes if they just repent. He is pretty much completely useless and only exists to craft a stupid, not to mention COMPLETELY USELESS, romance plot with him and a mermaid.
On top of this, the action scenes that are supposed to keep most people interested are all boring. There aren’t nearly as many as in the second, third, or even the first one, and the ones we get really aren’t that good. Director Rob Marshall is most famous for directing “Chicago”, and lesser know for movies like “Memoirs of a Geisha” and “Nine” (NOT the animated movie about the living sock puppets.), and his lack of action experience really shows in these scenes. Most of them are either dull or anticlimactic, and when that’s not the case they’re just rehashing things from the previous movies. But what actually angers me most thinking back, is that the movie has NO ship battles. No broad sides of cannon fire, no ship tactics that turn the tide of battle, no man the guns, nothing. That was always what I liked about these movies! Sword fights? I can see that anywhere. Crazy stunts? That’s why God gave us Jackie Chan movies. But this movie just doesn’t do it. Hell, even in the last movie, which most people acknowledge wasn’t all that good, had several of those and it made the movie actually feel like a pirate movie. This just feels more like a bad Indiana Jones knock off than a pirate movie. In fact, most everything from the original movies is gone, most notably the Black Pearl. They could have called it anything and it would have made just as much sense.
When all is said and done, I really didn’t care for this movie. That said, if all you want from the movie is to have Jack Sparrow have more screen time than he has in the other movies, or you really just want to see all of the “Pirates” movies in theaters, then you probably won’t be disappointed. I however, was thoroughly disappointed by this movie, it was dull, long and I really just wanted it to end. It didn’t win any points with me other than having Jack in it, something we know they wouldn’t be stupid enough not to do anyway. I’d say skip it.
I give Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
1 magical MacGuffin out of 5
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