“Legion”. “Legion”. “Legion”. Why? I mean you had the potential to at least be ok, maybe even good. Did you live to that potential? Obviously not since I have to ask, but that just begs the question of what even qualifies as potential anymore. I mean this movie called itself an epic. It said it was a visual spectacle. Hell, my interest was at least peaked, and I’m a bitter movie curmudgeon that loves nothing until it actually shows the goods! Plus, I’ve said over and over that I am sadly having to be more and more of the opinion that the action genre has had it’s time and would probably be better off just dying off, but some movies just want to cling to the idea that they can bring it back in some fused or bastardized form. Sometimes that can be interesting and fun like “From Dusk Till Dawn” or “Sin City”, or bad like… Well, this movie. I’m sorry in advanced to this movie’s defenders, odd enough as it is that this movie has defenders, but this movie just blows. I mean it’s just bad.
Let me count the ways, shall I? Let’s start with the story. Now, while I’ve been a big defender of “Avatar”, despite the fact that the movie’s story is largely borrowed from at least three sources, it doesn’t bug me. I notice it, but in a way, the three films it “steals” from are actually improved in its story and don’t really feel like they are being stolen, more added upon. It’s taking something that was done once, and either combines it with something else or does it much better. For example, many people say that “Avatar” was simply a rehash of “Dances with Wolves”, a film that I just can’t stand. Odd really, since I loved “Avatar”, maybe it was just the first time “Dances with Wolves” was actually interesting enough to grab me after the first hour this time, I don’t know.
Now, I’ve said all that to say that I’m one of those guys that can sit there and find so many other stories that have been used for plays or movies or what have you. Normally, I'm actually not that peeved about it, because usually, at least SOME effort is made to hide the new movie as it's own creation. But really, this movie just can’t seem to figure out what it wants to…. Rip off. God I hate that term, but there is nothing else to describe this! I mean wow! In this movie, in one sitting, I pulled out “Evil Dead”, “The Omen”, and “The Terminator” of all things. I mean this is just shoddy at best. This is a movie that was either written by producers, or it was something they tried to tailor as something "new", but then again, maybe the joke’s on us here and they just want a laugh on the way to the bank with our money.
Let’s talk about action sequences, because what are those anymore? I mean the director here seems to have an idea, because most of the time he seems to know how to make them fun, yet halfway in, and I’m not kidding here, he turns the lights off. I’m not joking; he just flat cuts the lights at least three times! I wouldn’t mind since this movie kind of tries to be horror at times, but the amount of action leading up to the lights going out, is really just too much. When it happens I’m not so much scared, as pissed that now I can’t see anything and my cool action sequence is ruined by the horror aspect trying to butt in. That's even another problem, the horror in this movie is silly. When the evil old lady first appears and starts fucking people up, I just laugh because, while I'm sure the point is to show that the Angels add strength when possessing people (yeah, Angels possess people here.) this just comes off as hilarious. I'm sorry but seeing an old woman throw Dennis Quaid across the room is just fucking funny! It’s a perfect example of a genre combo that is just poorly executed… Along with pretty much everything else in this movie actually, because nothing is really done well.
The script is just pathetic, and I really mean pathetic. It’s all: “What’s going on?!” and “Why me?” and a lot, and I really mean this, A LOT of exposition. Seriously for every minute of something actually happening in this movie, there is at least five minutes of talking. This movie is about an hour and 40 minutes, so that means that of 100 minutes of total run time, we get about 20 minutes, if that of either bad action or bad horror. The rest is literally just explaining the plot. What really pissed me off was at the end where in the middle of a fight they’ve been building the whole movie, they just stop and have a pow wow to talk about stuff. THIS. ISN’T. FILM-MAKING!!! In fact this scene tries to be more like a play, and normally I’m down with that idea. But when you’re movie’s built as an action/horror film, well it’s out of place to be nice, and horribly idiotic in all other cases.
That and the performances are just shit. Dennis Quaid, who I mentioned in my “Pandorum” review, makes an appearance and frankly needs to fire his agent. I mean wow, I may have given him shit for “Pandorum”, but this guy really is not that bad an actor. I loved “Innerspace” and “Dragonheart”, his performance in both in particular, it’s just sad to see him here. Although much sadder is Paul Bettany. If I may directly speak to the actor, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I wouldn’t care if you were actually someone that had not had a good run in movies, but you were in no less that TWO Best Picture nominees in less that four years, and “Firewall”, while silly at times, was actually slightly successful and hell; “The Da Vinci Code” was actually largely successful. I’d understand if you were hurting for work, but I don’t see you as being particularly hard pressed with credits like that! I mean those two are just the cream of the crop outside of Charles S. Dutton, who steals the show no matter what he does anyway, and really, the rest of the cast is dull, uninteresting and just vastly underdeveloped.
That really goes back to the writing. I hate to harp on it, but that’s really the movie’s biggest flaw. It’s just so obviously not even trying, and that’s what’s so aggravating! All the main characters are built up in about 5 minutes, if that, and then the rest is basically this: “God’s pissed. He’s going to kill us with angels and we have to protect this woman to live, got it?” I’m sorry, and it isn’t that I’m a strong Christian or anything, but I frankly would be embarrassed to have a movie this bad closely associated with my faith.
This movie is dumb, redundant, bland, haphazardly written and just doesn’t make for a good time. I actually have a friend that loves bad movies like this for joking purposes, and HE was evening cursing the director’s name at the end. That just tells you how much of a miss this movie was. It missed the point completely, and honestly I can’t even call it a movie worth renting.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Gentlemen Broncos
You know what 2009 was really lacking to me? A hilarious comedy. I mean looking back on the last few years I feel every year had a comedy that just stuck with people. 2007 was all about "Super Bad", 2008 was "Tropic Thunder", but what was 2009? I guess you could say "The Hangover", but I'd like to briefly gloss over that one. And I can because this is my site. To me yes "The Hangover" was funny, I liked the story and it was nice to finally get a movie that actually made that tired catch phrase "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas," funny again. But honestly, I was a little underwhelmed, I liked it, but it wasn't very memorable to me. I just felt that while it was entertaining, a few of the jokes fell flat and it just seemed kind of forced in one or two places. That's why I was looking forward to "Gentlemen Broncos" after I saw the previews, I know I harped about previews in "Clash Of The Titans", but this was one that did it's job. It gave me an idea about the story of the film, it enticed me with a couple jokes, and that's all you need. "Titans" only had special effects going for it, and since they decided to show EVERYTHING in the previews, there really wasn't a point to go to the actual movie, unless you're a critic like me. I mean this movie's preview basically just had Sam Rockwell fighting with lawn ornaments on another planet! It's just silly enough to make me want to see it.
The plot is very basic. A young man writes Science Fiction stories, gets to meet his idol at a work shop, and his idol is an utter tool that promptly steals the boy's latest story as his own. And when I call this guy an utter tool, I mean that he's the most pretentious, vapid, idiotic, vain, unlikeable son of the unholy bitch of douche-dom and the bastard of dill holes. And he's my favorite character. I mean I hate him, but he's one of those guys you just love to hate. He never has anything even remotely redeemable about him, and he is just so hilarious.
It's actually a really good contrast to the protagonist. Who is actually not very talkative, and I think that actually helps the movie. He's supposed to be the meek, unimposing, and tends to just let people walk over him until the end of the movie. But really what makes this character great for me, is that even in his meekness, he still wants to stand up for his story since it was actually meant as something to honor his dead father, which by the way is never overtly said, just subtly implied. And really, that makes a strong character to me. It's honestly compelling to see this guy actually try for the stars at the end, challenging the well known writer with noting but the principle of the matter is just so aw inspiring to see.
That really has a lot to do with the film's point. I mean , comedies these days just always seem to be about tits and ass, but when you actually see a movie try to be funny without them, it's just amazing to see. This script is deep, shallow, smart and yet insanely stupid all at the same time. But what I really like, is that this film is big on the idea of "Show, don't tell!". Like I said, the story was for his father but in seriousness, he's mentioned only once verbally, and the rest of the time Ben just looks at his picture in a way that asks for guidance, and because of that this film actually becomes a coming of age story. However since they never beat you over the head with it, it becomes something new in that regard because, he doesn't need an outside influence, be it a mentor or a love interest or whatever, it's because he loves his father, gets frustrated that the story the really means something to him is being corrupted, and he reaches his breaking point. It's such a nice way to see a story. I have always loved seeing the hero triumph against the odds, but this is literally a film where it seems like everyone is against this guy, and yet he still wins.
Honestly if there is one kind of film that is hardest to review, it's a comedy. Mostly because I try and live off the principle that spoiling is usually wrong unless the person doesn't particularly want to see the film being reviewed, hence why my "Zombieland" review was so short, and because of this, I find comedies especially hard to talk about. It's mostly because they are usually short and I don't like giving too many of the jokes away, but since they make up a big part, I'll just say the jokes are well executed and very very funny.
That said, I just want to assure you that just because I'm not talking page after page about this movie, it is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. It's silly, yet poignant in the right spots. Slow at times, but not dragging. And finally, this movie is just good. I mean really, this is from the guy that did "Napoleon Dynamite" a movie I just can't stand anymore, but "Broncos" I could honestly watch over and over and it'd still be funny, "Dynamite" was just like a one night stand; one big bang and done. Leaves something to be said for effort I guess.
The plot is very basic. A young man writes Science Fiction stories, gets to meet his idol at a work shop, and his idol is an utter tool that promptly steals the boy's latest story as his own. And when I call this guy an utter tool, I mean that he's the most pretentious, vapid, idiotic, vain, unlikeable son of the unholy bitch of douche-dom and the bastard of dill holes. And he's my favorite character. I mean I hate him, but he's one of those guys you just love to hate. He never has anything even remotely redeemable about him, and he is just so hilarious.
It's actually a really good contrast to the protagonist. Who is actually not very talkative, and I think that actually helps the movie. He's supposed to be the meek, unimposing, and tends to just let people walk over him until the end of the movie. But really what makes this character great for me, is that even in his meekness, he still wants to stand up for his story since it was actually meant as something to honor his dead father, which by the way is never overtly said, just subtly implied. And really, that makes a strong character to me. It's honestly compelling to see this guy actually try for the stars at the end, challenging the well known writer with noting but the principle of the matter is just so aw inspiring to see.
That really has a lot to do with the film's point. I mean , comedies these days just always seem to be about tits and ass, but when you actually see a movie try to be funny without them, it's just amazing to see. This script is deep, shallow, smart and yet insanely stupid all at the same time. But what I really like, is that this film is big on the idea of "Show, don't tell!". Like I said, the story was for his father but in seriousness, he's mentioned only once verbally, and the rest of the time Ben just looks at his picture in a way that asks for guidance, and because of that this film actually becomes a coming of age story. However since they never beat you over the head with it, it becomes something new in that regard because, he doesn't need an outside influence, be it a mentor or a love interest or whatever, it's because he loves his father, gets frustrated that the story the really means something to him is being corrupted, and he reaches his breaking point. It's such a nice way to see a story. I have always loved seeing the hero triumph against the odds, but this is literally a film where it seems like everyone is against this guy, and yet he still wins.
Honestly if there is one kind of film that is hardest to review, it's a comedy. Mostly because I try and live off the principle that spoiling is usually wrong unless the person doesn't particularly want to see the film being reviewed, hence why my "Zombieland" review was so short, and because of this, I find comedies especially hard to talk about. It's mostly because they are usually short and I don't like giving too many of the jokes away, but since they make up a big part, I'll just say the jokes are well executed and very very funny.
That said, I just want to assure you that just because I'm not talking page after page about this movie, it is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. It's silly, yet poignant in the right spots. Slow at times, but not dragging. And finally, this movie is just good. I mean really, this is from the guy that did "Napoleon Dynamite" a movie I just can't stand anymore, but "Broncos" I could honestly watch over and over and it'd still be funny, "Dynamite" was just like a one night stand; one big bang and done. Leaves something to be said for effort I guess.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Top 10 Movies You've Never Seen But Need To
In talking to a lot my friends I’m finding myself more and more interested in introducing them to movies that are very obscure, amazing, and sadly forgotten. To me, these are the best kinds of movies to find. They’re usually films that either didn’t get enough press in their release, they’ve been forgotten over the years, or any other reason. And yet when I do in fact find them, it’s like discovering gold. It’s a piece of cinema history that will always be preserved and viewed again and again, just because it was discovered by someone that found it in a video store and wanted to see it. So in order to honor these unknown treasures, I’m doing the thing all critics do at one point or another, a top 10 list. And without further adieu, here it is:
10. Martin. This is a film made by the zombie genre god George A. Romero, and it’s probably the most interesting vampire movie ever made. The film follows Martin, a disturbed young man that’s convinced he’s a vampire. He’s gone to live with a strongly religious cousin that also believe this, and wants to first give Martin his last rights and God’s forgiveness before killing him. That’s what we’re given in the first 15 minutes. This movie is just fascinating to watch, I’ll grant some of the writing gets a little too tedious in a couple places, but the performances and the characters are just superb and it makes you not mind. John Amplas is just so tragic as Martin because mostly this film comes down to a story of a man that has just given up on life and pretty much fully embodied an addiction, but slowly he starts to realize that he could be more, and have more than that. That and it just has some extraordinary suspense. I’m a big fan of George Romero, but I honestly think that this film here is probably one of his best works. It’s very moody and atmospheric and I just can’t recommend this movie enough.
9. Mean Streets. Martin Scorsese’s first big film, as well as the first time he collaborated with long time star Robert De Niro. A lot of people hold up “Goodfellas” as being Scorsese’s best film, and I agree, but to be honest I’d have to call this film a very very close second. It’s a similar premise, focusing mostly on small time gangsters that run a bar, but has it’s own identity and it just gets more and more interesting the film goes on. Harvey Keitel plays Charlie, a hood that is trying to make it on the streets. He seems he’d be able to do ok if it wasn’t for the fact that his girlfriend’s cousin Johnny Boy (De Niro) wasn’t such a lose cannon with a short temper. It’s hard to really explain what makes this movie great, but it’s certainly a must for anyone that enjoys Scorsese work as this is the first film where his truly unique style starts to shine through and is allowed to go nuts. And that, trust me, is well worth watching.
8. Idiocracy. This is a fairly recent movie and it seems to be gaining a bit of a cult following. So that’s why I put it pretty low on the list, but trust me, it still isn’t getting the attention it deserves and this is one of the most hilarious movies you’ll ever see. The plot is just ridiculous and yet at the same time it’s disturbing as hell. A guy that’s just completely average in every way is frozen as part of a super top secret military experiment, so secret in fact, that he is forgotten and sleeps for 500 years and comes out to find that the gene pool has stagnated and he’s now the smartest man on the planet. The jokes and set ups in this movie are just insanely funny, from the hospital called St. God’s, to the guy that constantly says brought to you by Carl’s Jr. all the time because they pay him to. This movie is just a hilariously original comedy with a unique premise and it certainly deserves a lot more attention than it gets.
7. The Sugarland Express. This movie marked the big screen debut of director Steven Spielberg and I think it is a shame no one has seen it. This movie is just jaw dropping it’s so good. Goldie Hawn plays a woman recently released from jail and finds out that she can’t get her infant son back from foster care. So she breaks her husband out too and through a series of events, they end up taking a state trooper hostage. Basically this movie becomes one great big chase as they try to make it to Sugarland Texas to reclaim their son. The photography is just beautiful and the sight of the enormous about of cars that follow them is something to behold. The characters are will played and the film’s script is just so packed with emotion, from happiness, to anger, to utter sadness. The scene where Hawn’s father gets on the radio and talks of being very disappointed in her, and that if the cops would give him a gun he’d shoot her himself is especially heartbreaking. This is probably up there in Spielberg’s films for me, because it really showcases that he really knows how to make a great movie and that he can give us characters that we all latch onto.
6. Slaughter House Five. Adapted very faithfully from the Kurt Vonnegut’s novel of the same name, this film is just hypnotic. It’s a film where I see not performances at all, but people. All the actors in this movie play their parts so believably that the line between actor and character is amazingly blurred. The camera paints the landscapes just beautifully and adds a nice glow to the whole experience. The music in it is simple but extremely effective, giving a child like innocence that contrasts with the film’s story greatly. To top that off, in my opinion this is the best adaptation of a novel ever done. The story is faithfully recreated and I feel that the novel’s unique voice is always present throughout. I can’t say enough about this movie, it’s a forgotten classic for sure, and to me, one of the finest films ever created.
5. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. I like to think of this as the last truly great family film. Terry Gilliam’s imagination seems to be endless as this movie takes us to so many elaborate and surreal locations that it is just such a treat to watch. People have sometimes asked me why I can get so worked up about kids movies these days and all I can say is that I’m tired of films that talk down to children, or are just so silly that they don’t allow kids a chance to try and think and understand what’s happening. This movie doesn’t, in fact most of the kid’s films from the 80’s actually stand up remarkably well today if you ask me. But my personal favorite is this film. Mostly because I was actually 17 when I first saw it and it filled me with such a childlike fascination that I couldn’t believe it. It’s the story of a man, the titular Baron, that has a life of fantastical stories and no one actually believes that they are the truth. John Neville is just amazing as the Baron and it’s odd when I see him in other films because he’s usually very down played and morose, but here he’s full of energy and just goes with the tone of the film so perfectly. The story is set in what is referred to as the Age of Reason, and there is a war going on between an English settlement and a Turkish Sultan. Jonathan Price plays a slimy government official that is trying to run the war “sensibly”, saying that it should be by the books and logically. He even goes to the point of having a man that committed a huge act of bravery and heroism executed because it may make the other soldiers feel inadequate. I’m not kidding about that. When a young girl’s family is threatened by Price with eviction from the city, the Baron comes to the rescue. The rest of the film is the Baron’s effort to save the settlement by finding his friends with amazing abilities and includes a trip to the moon, a visit with the gods Vulcan and Venus, being eaten by a sea monster and an enormously creative and hilarious final battle with the Sultan’s army at the film’s climax. It’s just so charming, but dark at times, and asks people to live their dreams. Something I feel most films these days are sadly lacking.
4. Straw Dogs. I’ve only seen this film about 3 times, and I’ll admit the first time I saw it I wasn’t all that impressed. However I was tempted and curious to give it another look and this time I was stunned. Sometimes it takes a couple viewings for a film to really grow on you I guess. I think part of it had to do with the film’s portrayal of the characters, very few of them have redeeming qualities about them. But watching it again I realized that was director Sam Peckinpah’s point. Peckinpah wanted to show that at our core, we’re all capable of violence. A mathematician and his wife move to a quiet English village, and immediately you get this undertone of the husband being intimidated by the men of the village. He can’t stand up to them at all and because of this, the men don’t respect him and decide that they can do whatever they want, including rape his wife. The film is brutal and has a very dark picture of humanity, never at any point compromising on this idea. The film climaxes with the husband finally reaching his breaking point and violently lashing back that those who wronged him as they try and invade his house to murder a man. I had a tough time wanting to put this movie on this list, but I feel the film is so powerful that it should be remembered because to me, it has a very important significance to film and the way it portrays violence, because it’s not pretty and this film really shows us that.
3. Spellbound. One of my favorite Alfred Hitchcock films, “Spellbound” has an intriguing mystery story, great performances from Gregory Peck and Ingrid Bergman, a great score and one of my all time favorite scenes in film. It was hard to pick between this and Hitchcock’s “Lifeboat” because I see both as phenomenal films. However, I tip the scales toward “Spellbound” for a couple major reasons. First of all it was one of the first films to seriously incorporate Psychology into a mystery plot, something that’s common place now. Bergman Plays a psychiatrist that’s trying to help discover what’s happened to a doctor that Gregory Peck was seeing and has mysteriously disappeared. Peck has a guilt complex though and is almost certain that he’s the murderer and the mystery is trying to figure out if he did or not. Great suspense is achieved as he has a psychological trigger that puts him almost in a trance and you’re not really sure if he’s going to be violent or if it’s due to a trauma. But the real thing that sets this film apart, the dream sequence. The crucial turning point in the mystery is a dream sequence in which Peck is put under hypnosis and we see one of the most amazing things put on film; a collaboration between Salvador Dali and Alfred Hitchcock. The visuals in this scene are just stunning and I can’t say anything about them that actually does justice, you just need to see it. All these elements combine to be all together great film.
2. Kingdom Of Heaven: The Director’s Cut. This movie met with mixed reviews on its release in 2005 and I can’t say that I really blame it, the theatrical cut made little sense, and was a pretty mediocre movie. However shortly after its DVD release Ridley Scott’s director’s cut also saw its way to DVD. And boy is this a completely different film. All the big problems I had with the theatrical version are gone, and this version of the movie likens back to epics of the 60’s like “Lawrence Of Arabia” or “Doctor Zhivago”. What I also liked was while this is about the holy wars between the Muslims and Christians during the Crusades; it has a lot of chivalry between them. It’s nicely ambiguous because both sides are played fairly sympathetically and the villains are really just men that are drunk with power. Edward Norton gives a wonderful uncredited performance as the leper king Baldwin not to mention the rest of the ensemble cast of characters is diverse, well rounded and stunningly performed. Every time I see this version of the film I remember what makes Ridley Scott a great film maker because he really has a talent for immersing you in the world of the film. The cinematography is just gorgeous and it’s pace never really drags, things are always happening but the audience is never left behind. I’d really love to see this version get a theatrical release because no matter how good or large your home TV is, this is something truly epic in every sense of the word and it really should be seen on the big screen.
1. Cool Hand Luke. This movie is just perfect. I mean perfect. What I think makes this movie earn number one is that I see it for sale everywhere, but it seems almost no one I talk to has ever seen it or remembers it. I can’t tell you how sad that makes me because this movie is just amazing. It follow a man named Luke who has been arrested for cutting the head off parking meters and how his presence in the chain gang he’s sent to changes everything and ultimately leads to his down fall as authority tries to squash him out. It’s got the best photography I’ve ever seen, Paul Newman and cast mesmerize you with their performances, and every time I see it, it hooks me in from the first frame. I could see this movie a thousand times and still rave about it. What surprises me most about it though is that it’s almost never mentioned in any film books. There are some passing mentions about Conrad Hall’s photography, but never anything about the direction or anything else like that makes this movie great. I feel that even though there are people out there that love this film about a man that goes to a chain gang and inspires the prisoners to try and make their lives better, it’s not given the attention that it rightly deserves. This film is just stunning and I shall not rest until it’s considered on the same level as films like “The Godfather” and “Casablanca”, because if any movie deserves to be in that category, it’s this one.
10. Martin. This is a film made by the zombie genre god George A. Romero, and it’s probably the most interesting vampire movie ever made. The film follows Martin, a disturbed young man that’s convinced he’s a vampire. He’s gone to live with a strongly religious cousin that also believe this, and wants to first give Martin his last rights and God’s forgiveness before killing him. That’s what we’re given in the first 15 minutes. This movie is just fascinating to watch, I’ll grant some of the writing gets a little too tedious in a couple places, but the performances and the characters are just superb and it makes you not mind. John Amplas is just so tragic as Martin because mostly this film comes down to a story of a man that has just given up on life and pretty much fully embodied an addiction, but slowly he starts to realize that he could be more, and have more than that. That and it just has some extraordinary suspense. I’m a big fan of George Romero, but I honestly think that this film here is probably one of his best works. It’s very moody and atmospheric and I just can’t recommend this movie enough.
9. Mean Streets. Martin Scorsese’s first big film, as well as the first time he collaborated with long time star Robert De Niro. A lot of people hold up “Goodfellas” as being Scorsese’s best film, and I agree, but to be honest I’d have to call this film a very very close second. It’s a similar premise, focusing mostly on small time gangsters that run a bar, but has it’s own identity and it just gets more and more interesting the film goes on. Harvey Keitel plays Charlie, a hood that is trying to make it on the streets. He seems he’d be able to do ok if it wasn’t for the fact that his girlfriend’s cousin Johnny Boy (De Niro) wasn’t such a lose cannon with a short temper. It’s hard to really explain what makes this movie great, but it’s certainly a must for anyone that enjoys Scorsese work as this is the first film where his truly unique style starts to shine through and is allowed to go nuts. And that, trust me, is well worth watching.
8. Idiocracy. This is a fairly recent movie and it seems to be gaining a bit of a cult following. So that’s why I put it pretty low on the list, but trust me, it still isn’t getting the attention it deserves and this is one of the most hilarious movies you’ll ever see. The plot is just ridiculous and yet at the same time it’s disturbing as hell. A guy that’s just completely average in every way is frozen as part of a super top secret military experiment, so secret in fact, that he is forgotten and sleeps for 500 years and comes out to find that the gene pool has stagnated and he’s now the smartest man on the planet. The jokes and set ups in this movie are just insanely funny, from the hospital called St. God’s, to the guy that constantly says brought to you by Carl’s Jr. all the time because they pay him to. This movie is just a hilariously original comedy with a unique premise and it certainly deserves a lot more attention than it gets.
7. The Sugarland Express. This movie marked the big screen debut of director Steven Spielberg and I think it is a shame no one has seen it. This movie is just jaw dropping it’s so good. Goldie Hawn plays a woman recently released from jail and finds out that she can’t get her infant son back from foster care. So she breaks her husband out too and through a series of events, they end up taking a state trooper hostage. Basically this movie becomes one great big chase as they try to make it to Sugarland Texas to reclaim their son. The photography is just beautiful and the sight of the enormous about of cars that follow them is something to behold. The characters are will played and the film’s script is just so packed with emotion, from happiness, to anger, to utter sadness. The scene where Hawn’s father gets on the radio and talks of being very disappointed in her, and that if the cops would give him a gun he’d shoot her himself is especially heartbreaking. This is probably up there in Spielberg’s films for me, because it really showcases that he really knows how to make a great movie and that he can give us characters that we all latch onto.
6. Slaughter House Five. Adapted very faithfully from the Kurt Vonnegut’s novel of the same name, this film is just hypnotic. It’s a film where I see not performances at all, but people. All the actors in this movie play their parts so believably that the line between actor and character is amazingly blurred. The camera paints the landscapes just beautifully and adds a nice glow to the whole experience. The music in it is simple but extremely effective, giving a child like innocence that contrasts with the film’s story greatly. To top that off, in my opinion this is the best adaptation of a novel ever done. The story is faithfully recreated and I feel that the novel’s unique voice is always present throughout. I can’t say enough about this movie, it’s a forgotten classic for sure, and to me, one of the finest films ever created.
5. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. I like to think of this as the last truly great family film. Terry Gilliam’s imagination seems to be endless as this movie takes us to so many elaborate and surreal locations that it is just such a treat to watch. People have sometimes asked me why I can get so worked up about kids movies these days and all I can say is that I’m tired of films that talk down to children, or are just so silly that they don’t allow kids a chance to try and think and understand what’s happening. This movie doesn’t, in fact most of the kid’s films from the 80’s actually stand up remarkably well today if you ask me. But my personal favorite is this film. Mostly because I was actually 17 when I first saw it and it filled me with such a childlike fascination that I couldn’t believe it. It’s the story of a man, the titular Baron, that has a life of fantastical stories and no one actually believes that they are the truth. John Neville is just amazing as the Baron and it’s odd when I see him in other films because he’s usually very down played and morose, but here he’s full of energy and just goes with the tone of the film so perfectly. The story is set in what is referred to as the Age of Reason, and there is a war going on between an English settlement and a Turkish Sultan. Jonathan Price plays a slimy government official that is trying to run the war “sensibly”, saying that it should be by the books and logically. He even goes to the point of having a man that committed a huge act of bravery and heroism executed because it may make the other soldiers feel inadequate. I’m not kidding about that. When a young girl’s family is threatened by Price with eviction from the city, the Baron comes to the rescue. The rest of the film is the Baron’s effort to save the settlement by finding his friends with amazing abilities and includes a trip to the moon, a visit with the gods Vulcan and Venus, being eaten by a sea monster and an enormously creative and hilarious final battle with the Sultan’s army at the film’s climax. It’s just so charming, but dark at times, and asks people to live their dreams. Something I feel most films these days are sadly lacking.
4. Straw Dogs. I’ve only seen this film about 3 times, and I’ll admit the first time I saw it I wasn’t all that impressed. However I was tempted and curious to give it another look and this time I was stunned. Sometimes it takes a couple viewings for a film to really grow on you I guess. I think part of it had to do with the film’s portrayal of the characters, very few of them have redeeming qualities about them. But watching it again I realized that was director Sam Peckinpah’s point. Peckinpah wanted to show that at our core, we’re all capable of violence. A mathematician and his wife move to a quiet English village, and immediately you get this undertone of the husband being intimidated by the men of the village. He can’t stand up to them at all and because of this, the men don’t respect him and decide that they can do whatever they want, including rape his wife. The film is brutal and has a very dark picture of humanity, never at any point compromising on this idea. The film climaxes with the husband finally reaching his breaking point and violently lashing back that those who wronged him as they try and invade his house to murder a man. I had a tough time wanting to put this movie on this list, but I feel the film is so powerful that it should be remembered because to me, it has a very important significance to film and the way it portrays violence, because it’s not pretty and this film really shows us that.
3. Spellbound. One of my favorite Alfred Hitchcock films, “Spellbound” has an intriguing mystery story, great performances from Gregory Peck and Ingrid Bergman, a great score and one of my all time favorite scenes in film. It was hard to pick between this and Hitchcock’s “Lifeboat” because I see both as phenomenal films. However, I tip the scales toward “Spellbound” for a couple major reasons. First of all it was one of the first films to seriously incorporate Psychology into a mystery plot, something that’s common place now. Bergman Plays a psychiatrist that’s trying to help discover what’s happened to a doctor that Gregory Peck was seeing and has mysteriously disappeared. Peck has a guilt complex though and is almost certain that he’s the murderer and the mystery is trying to figure out if he did or not. Great suspense is achieved as he has a psychological trigger that puts him almost in a trance and you’re not really sure if he’s going to be violent or if it’s due to a trauma. But the real thing that sets this film apart, the dream sequence. The crucial turning point in the mystery is a dream sequence in which Peck is put under hypnosis and we see one of the most amazing things put on film; a collaboration between Salvador Dali and Alfred Hitchcock. The visuals in this scene are just stunning and I can’t say anything about them that actually does justice, you just need to see it. All these elements combine to be all together great film.
2. Kingdom Of Heaven: The Director’s Cut. This movie met with mixed reviews on its release in 2005 and I can’t say that I really blame it, the theatrical cut made little sense, and was a pretty mediocre movie. However shortly after its DVD release Ridley Scott’s director’s cut also saw its way to DVD. And boy is this a completely different film. All the big problems I had with the theatrical version are gone, and this version of the movie likens back to epics of the 60’s like “Lawrence Of Arabia” or “Doctor Zhivago”. What I also liked was while this is about the holy wars between the Muslims and Christians during the Crusades; it has a lot of chivalry between them. It’s nicely ambiguous because both sides are played fairly sympathetically and the villains are really just men that are drunk with power. Edward Norton gives a wonderful uncredited performance as the leper king Baldwin not to mention the rest of the ensemble cast of characters is diverse, well rounded and stunningly performed. Every time I see this version of the film I remember what makes Ridley Scott a great film maker because he really has a talent for immersing you in the world of the film. The cinematography is just gorgeous and it’s pace never really drags, things are always happening but the audience is never left behind. I’d really love to see this version get a theatrical release because no matter how good or large your home TV is, this is something truly epic in every sense of the word and it really should be seen on the big screen.
1. Cool Hand Luke. This movie is just perfect. I mean perfect. What I think makes this movie earn number one is that I see it for sale everywhere, but it seems almost no one I talk to has ever seen it or remembers it. I can’t tell you how sad that makes me because this movie is just amazing. It follow a man named Luke who has been arrested for cutting the head off parking meters and how his presence in the chain gang he’s sent to changes everything and ultimately leads to his down fall as authority tries to squash him out. It’s got the best photography I’ve ever seen, Paul Newman and cast mesmerize you with their performances, and every time I see it, it hooks me in from the first frame. I could see this movie a thousand times and still rave about it. What surprises me most about it though is that it’s almost never mentioned in any film books. There are some passing mentions about Conrad Hall’s photography, but never anything about the direction or anything else like that makes this movie great. I feel that even though there are people out there that love this film about a man that goes to a chain gang and inspires the prisoners to try and make their lives better, it’s not given the attention that it rightly deserves. This film is just stunning and I shall not rest until it’s considered on the same level as films like “The Godfather” and “Casablanca”, because if any movie deserves to be in that category, it’s this one.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Clash of the Titans
Ok, this was inevitable; I have to make a comment on the remake plague going through the cinema. I’ve tried to avoid this because really, every single critic out there has commented and most have said that it is just freaking stupid to do nothing but constantly remake things. It’s just a sure fire way to piss off movie buffs, damage the name of a classic, and make studios lots of money. Yes, the reason these remakes are constantly being made, is they make money. And that means that I can finally say this. God it’s nice to finally have my chance to say this. Ok, here we go:
FUCK YOU ALL!!!
Yes! I blame you! I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard people complain that these remakes always suck but they still fucking go! Stop it! If you stop going, they’ll stop getting made! And while I’m at it, fuck you Michael Bay! I love all those old horror movies and you just keep raping them! Stop it you talentless hack! Phew… ok, I feel better now.
So yeah, “Clash of the Titans”… Or as I like to call it, proof nothing is sacred in Hollywood. Those who don’t know, “Clash of the Titans” was a movie made in the early 80’s that featured some very amazing stop motion effects by Ray Harryhausen. It was cheesy at times, but a lot of fun to watch. So I must confess, that of all the remakes recently, this was one that I actually wasn’t dreading from the get go. It’s an effects movie, all you had to do was something really similar with updated effects and you’d be fine. Did they do that? Not really. In fact, the movie isn't really terrible, it's just so terribly written that anything that happens just seems like ok, that's cool I guess.
The basic plot is the same, it has to do with the Krakken about to destroy the city unless the princess Andromeda is sacrificed, they need the head of Medusa to stop it and save the princess, and the only person able to do it is the demigod Perseus. The problem really was, on re-watching the original, I liked all the people in the movie and really had an interest in seeing what would happen. This movie, well, I’ll just call it “Clash of the Titans” for dummies. Characters are dropped and those that remain are really uninteresting, the plot is overly simplified, and really it hurts the movie immensely, mostly because in the original Andromeda was Perseus's bride so there was more a sense of urgency to keep her from being fed to the Krakken, not the case here. Sad because for what they have as "characters", the actors are all pretty good, no one feels like they are over doing it or being silly, although Liam Neeson seems to be phoning it in at times. To be honest though, Liam Neeson is so good that even when he’s phoning it in it’s pretty damn cool. Still they don't do much, they just say stuff that sounds like it was meant for a trailer or i guess was supposed to be epic sounding, but it's just silly.
The biggest character problem? Perseus, or if you've ever played any of the "God of War" games, the clearly watered down Kratos clone. It's quite shameless actually. He wants to prove to the gods that men can stand up to them and fight them. They give him gifts that he keeps turning down, but ultimately uses, He whines about how Hades killed his family and how he disowns his father Zeus and blah blah blah. Really in looking back at the plot of this movie if you changed the Hades to Aries, this is would almost be a really bad "God of War" movie and it's all due to how they portray Perseus.
However, The effects are spectacular. I’m not kidding they are really really good. My favorite effect though was Carion, the ferry man because of one thing: he’s the only creature that is actually on set. Yes, a giant CGI extravaganza has a puppet in it! And damn it’s a cool puppet! The Krakken is well rendered and looks pretty damn cool. Same with the giant scorpions that you see in all of the previews. But really that’s another of the problems. This movie is only about an hour and forty minutes (10 minutes of which I’m sure are padded by the credits) and the previews show all the stuff that would make this movie cool. That is probably one of, if not the dumbest thing that you can do in a movie preview. You’re supposed to interest us in wanting to see more, if you just show us everything then what’s the fucking point of going to the movie?
Really the thing that killed the movie was the characters and the writing. The pace was far far too rushed, this whole movie is building up epic stuff that is over far too soon, from the fight with Medusa, to the end battle with the Krakken and Hades. This whole movie just seems bored with itself and just wants to end. Plus the characters are just nonexistent. I don’t think any of them stood out other than Perseus, Hades, Zeus, Io and that guy that was the bad guy in “Casino Royale” (I can't even remember that character's name). But really saying they even stood out is being pretty nice. This movie was about the effects and that’s it. I’m hip to that if there’s actually something cool to look at but there is nothing new or interesting here. Thus far this is biggest disappointment of the year, it was a movie that didn’t need a compelling story or anything. It just needed to be exciting and fun, and it wasn’t. It was just bland and mediocre at best and I highly recommend either skipping it all together or waiting for DVD. I mean, they had the fucking nads to throw in the Bubo prop from the first movie, and then not actually use Bubo! Come on! The mechanical owl was so awesome and funny in the first movie and that’s what was needed here! At least I would have cared if the owl version of R2D2 got crushed by the Krakken!
FUCK YOU ALL!!!
Yes! I blame you! I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard people complain that these remakes always suck but they still fucking go! Stop it! If you stop going, they’ll stop getting made! And while I’m at it, fuck you Michael Bay! I love all those old horror movies and you just keep raping them! Stop it you talentless hack! Phew… ok, I feel better now.
So yeah, “Clash of the Titans”… Or as I like to call it, proof nothing is sacred in Hollywood. Those who don’t know, “Clash of the Titans” was a movie made in the early 80’s that featured some very amazing stop motion effects by Ray Harryhausen. It was cheesy at times, but a lot of fun to watch. So I must confess, that of all the remakes recently, this was one that I actually wasn’t dreading from the get go. It’s an effects movie, all you had to do was something really similar with updated effects and you’d be fine. Did they do that? Not really. In fact, the movie isn't really terrible, it's just so terribly written that anything that happens just seems like ok, that's cool I guess.
The basic plot is the same, it has to do with the Krakken about to destroy the city unless the princess Andromeda is sacrificed, they need the head of Medusa to stop it and save the princess, and the only person able to do it is the demigod Perseus. The problem really was, on re-watching the original, I liked all the people in the movie and really had an interest in seeing what would happen. This movie, well, I’ll just call it “Clash of the Titans” for dummies. Characters are dropped and those that remain are really uninteresting, the plot is overly simplified, and really it hurts the movie immensely, mostly because in the original Andromeda was Perseus's bride so there was more a sense of urgency to keep her from being fed to the Krakken, not the case here. Sad because for what they have as "characters", the actors are all pretty good, no one feels like they are over doing it or being silly, although Liam Neeson seems to be phoning it in at times. To be honest though, Liam Neeson is so good that even when he’s phoning it in it’s pretty damn cool. Still they don't do much, they just say stuff that sounds like it was meant for a trailer or i guess was supposed to be epic sounding, but it's just silly.
The biggest character problem? Perseus, or if you've ever played any of the "God of War" games, the clearly watered down Kratos clone. It's quite shameless actually. He wants to prove to the gods that men can stand up to them and fight them. They give him gifts that he keeps turning down, but ultimately uses, He whines about how Hades killed his family and how he disowns his father Zeus and blah blah blah. Really in looking back at the plot of this movie if you changed the Hades to Aries, this is would almost be a really bad "God of War" movie and it's all due to how they portray Perseus.
However, The effects are spectacular. I’m not kidding they are really really good. My favorite effect though was Carion, the ferry man because of one thing: he’s the only creature that is actually on set. Yes, a giant CGI extravaganza has a puppet in it! And damn it’s a cool puppet! The Krakken is well rendered and looks pretty damn cool. Same with the giant scorpions that you see in all of the previews. But really that’s another of the problems. This movie is only about an hour and forty minutes (10 minutes of which I’m sure are padded by the credits) and the previews show all the stuff that would make this movie cool. That is probably one of, if not the dumbest thing that you can do in a movie preview. You’re supposed to interest us in wanting to see more, if you just show us everything then what’s the fucking point of going to the movie?
Really the thing that killed the movie was the characters and the writing. The pace was far far too rushed, this whole movie is building up epic stuff that is over far too soon, from the fight with Medusa, to the end battle with the Krakken and Hades. This whole movie just seems bored with itself and just wants to end. Plus the characters are just nonexistent. I don’t think any of them stood out other than Perseus, Hades, Zeus, Io and that guy that was the bad guy in “Casino Royale” (I can't even remember that character's name). But really saying they even stood out is being pretty nice. This movie was about the effects and that’s it. I’m hip to that if there’s actually something cool to look at but there is nothing new or interesting here. Thus far this is biggest disappointment of the year, it was a movie that didn’t need a compelling story or anything. It just needed to be exciting and fun, and it wasn’t. It was just bland and mediocre at best and I highly recommend either skipping it all together or waiting for DVD. I mean, they had the fucking nads to throw in the Bubo prop from the first movie, and then not actually use Bubo! Come on! The mechanical owl was so awesome and funny in the first movie and that’s what was needed here! At least I would have cared if the owl version of R2D2 got crushed by the Krakken!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Boondock Saint 2: All Saint's Day
Well kids, it’s sequel time again! And guess what? I give up. I have to. There is nothing left these last few years that really makes me feel that the action genre has anything going for it anymore, and I’m extremely sad about that. I mean it’s always been a larger ratio of crap to anything actually good, but now the numbers have just gotten worse. Right off the bat I’m going to have to say this, I know this review is going to get me a lot of negative feed back, but facts are facts people and the fact is that I never really cared for “The Boondock Saints”. I didn’t hate it, I just didn’t find it that interesting, well more I didn’t find it good or interesting after a second viewing. A lot of the jokes fell flat even the first time, the action sequences were mostly ripped off and dull, and really, the whole movie was just mediocre, but I did get some enjoyment out of it. It had Willem Defoe and that alone usually makes things a lot of fun with some nicely over the top moments. I seem to be a little bit in a minority on this one however. A lot of people loves this movie like it’s “Pulp Fiction” or “Reservoir Dogs” but I really just found it forgettable. Yet it was still popular enough that 10 years later, we got a sequel, from the same writer and director, who hasn’t done anything else in the meantime, at all.
And what do we get for our 10 year wait? Is it a new, totally different story that fleshes out the characters and adds new drama? Nope, it’s the same movie. It really gets me worried when a man that has only directed one movie, comes back with a sequel that is the same movie again with only the slightest of differences. It really just emphasizes the fact that this guy only has one story in him, and it is really reflected in the script for this movie. The plot is the Saints have to return to American after hiding out in Ireland, to avenge a priest that is murdered by a hit man hired by the son of the gangster that they executed at the end of the first movie (sorry for the spoiler, but it was unavoidable). The rest is the exact same situations as the first film! Any of the writing gripes I had with the first movie, I could usually forgive, it was Troy Duffy’s first movie and in my opinion, when it’s your first movie you can get some leeway. Here is just a pure example of absolutely no effort at all. The dialogue is trying way too hard to be like early Quentin Tarantino, the big plot points happen at exactly the same time in this as they do in the original, and to top it all there is a character that was killed off in the original that is just replaced here. I’m not even kidding. They just get a guy, played by a different actor, to do exactly the same part from the first movie. Words really escape me here. I’ve complained about sequels just being carbon copies like the “Final Destination” sequels, but at least they tried a whole new cast when they re-did those movies, here it just brings more attention to the fact that they had no new ideas.
That and the performances are just ridiculous. The returning cast has no real endearing factors to me really. The Saints, Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flannery respectively, are just annoying and really, in this movie they are quite unsympathetic. In the first film, I will admit that I felt all their actions were pretty much justified. They legitimately took down bad people. In this movie, really no one they kill is seen doing anything that is plainly cruel or evil, other than wanting to kill them for killing someone else. So it just feels like the Saints are just killing people that are just marginally associated with the gangsters, mostly because that’s all they kill until the end where they actually do what they should have done the whole movie instead of getting drunk. Plus, did I mention they were annoying? They get drunk and make fun of people for like two thirds of the movie! Fine, I’ll buy that, I’ll get past that. What grinds my nerves is when they just seem to do that more than hunt down criminals, which they are constantly saying is their whole mission and purpose. Seriously, if you want a story about Anti-heroes you can’t just have them do nothing and then have them kill people and expect the audience to be rooting for them, they have to be killing people that are pretty much filth.
The Saint aren’t my biggest bone to pick with this movie though, that dubious honor goes to none other than “Dexter” leading lady Julie Benz, who plays the replacement Willem Dafoe here, and is just so grating that I can’t adequately find words to describe it. She is so balls achingly irritating that I had to stop the movie a couple times to do something other than watch her keep going. The odd thing? I love her on that show! Seriously she is so much better than this part! I’m sure she did it for career purposes or she was a fan of the original, but that honestly doesn’t excuse it. She is just a clone of the same exact part, she’s just trying to do the same character from the first movie. Right down to the re-enactments and banter with the local cops, it’s the same goddamn person! And I haven’t even started with the clone of the Mexican guy. I don’t even feel like giving him much mention, mostly because I think the actor that plays him is just going through the motions because he’s clearly aware that his part only exists to replace the guy from the first movie. All these people are just fucking pointless!
Then there are the action sequences, oh god if you could only call them that. This movie’s idea of action is mostly just guns going off. That’s all you really see. There’s no actually movement, or anything else to give the scene depth or excitement, not even shaky cam and god did I never think I’d actually wish for that. Troy Duffy just seems to think a gun going off is enough. You know what? I could almost buy this, the idea that something as simple as pulling a trigger on a gun and being able to actually end someone’s life is very intimidating. The problem is the rest of the movie seems to celebrate the idea of killing people with the cover of the Saints’ actions being “noble”, and the slight over the top nature of the violence just totally ruins any chance of that idea. Which is huge shame because they actually try to build that idea up through out, mostly in useless flashbacks from the father character, I guess feeling remorseful about the fact he’s killed so many people. But in the next scene we see the Saints killing people and it’s supposed to be cool and the message is just destroyed. The hypocrisy and constant shifts between timelines, slow and fast motion, ultimately makes these scenes just boring.
And that’s basically this movie in a nut shell, it’s just boring. It goes nowhere, it takes way too long to get there, and on top of that, it’s been done before. Basically I should have just watched the first movie again, maybe really drunk or high and I probably would have liked it more than seeing this “new” movie. It’s a dull, run of the mill sequel that really should never have been made, and it pains me to know that I wasted two hours of my life just sitting through it.
And what do we get for our 10 year wait? Is it a new, totally different story that fleshes out the characters and adds new drama? Nope, it’s the same movie. It really gets me worried when a man that has only directed one movie, comes back with a sequel that is the same movie again with only the slightest of differences. It really just emphasizes the fact that this guy only has one story in him, and it is really reflected in the script for this movie. The plot is the Saints have to return to American after hiding out in Ireland, to avenge a priest that is murdered by a hit man hired by the son of the gangster that they executed at the end of the first movie (sorry for the spoiler, but it was unavoidable). The rest is the exact same situations as the first film! Any of the writing gripes I had with the first movie, I could usually forgive, it was Troy Duffy’s first movie and in my opinion, when it’s your first movie you can get some leeway. Here is just a pure example of absolutely no effort at all. The dialogue is trying way too hard to be like early Quentin Tarantino, the big plot points happen at exactly the same time in this as they do in the original, and to top it all there is a character that was killed off in the original that is just replaced here. I’m not even kidding. They just get a guy, played by a different actor, to do exactly the same part from the first movie. Words really escape me here. I’ve complained about sequels just being carbon copies like the “Final Destination” sequels, but at least they tried a whole new cast when they re-did those movies, here it just brings more attention to the fact that they had no new ideas.
That and the performances are just ridiculous. The returning cast has no real endearing factors to me really. The Saints, Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flannery respectively, are just annoying and really, in this movie they are quite unsympathetic. In the first film, I will admit that I felt all their actions were pretty much justified. They legitimately took down bad people. In this movie, really no one they kill is seen doing anything that is plainly cruel or evil, other than wanting to kill them for killing someone else. So it just feels like the Saints are just killing people that are just marginally associated with the gangsters, mostly because that’s all they kill until the end where they actually do what they should have done the whole movie instead of getting drunk. Plus, did I mention they were annoying? They get drunk and make fun of people for like two thirds of the movie! Fine, I’ll buy that, I’ll get past that. What grinds my nerves is when they just seem to do that more than hunt down criminals, which they are constantly saying is their whole mission and purpose. Seriously, if you want a story about Anti-heroes you can’t just have them do nothing and then have them kill people and expect the audience to be rooting for them, they have to be killing people that are pretty much filth.
The Saint aren’t my biggest bone to pick with this movie though, that dubious honor goes to none other than “Dexter” leading lady Julie Benz, who plays the replacement Willem Dafoe here, and is just so grating that I can’t adequately find words to describe it. She is so balls achingly irritating that I had to stop the movie a couple times to do something other than watch her keep going. The odd thing? I love her on that show! Seriously she is so much better than this part! I’m sure she did it for career purposes or she was a fan of the original, but that honestly doesn’t excuse it. She is just a clone of the same exact part, she’s just trying to do the same character from the first movie. Right down to the re-enactments and banter with the local cops, it’s the same goddamn person! And I haven’t even started with the clone of the Mexican guy. I don’t even feel like giving him much mention, mostly because I think the actor that plays him is just going through the motions because he’s clearly aware that his part only exists to replace the guy from the first movie. All these people are just fucking pointless!
Then there are the action sequences, oh god if you could only call them that. This movie’s idea of action is mostly just guns going off. That’s all you really see. There’s no actually movement, or anything else to give the scene depth or excitement, not even shaky cam and god did I never think I’d actually wish for that. Troy Duffy just seems to think a gun going off is enough. You know what? I could almost buy this, the idea that something as simple as pulling a trigger on a gun and being able to actually end someone’s life is very intimidating. The problem is the rest of the movie seems to celebrate the idea of killing people with the cover of the Saints’ actions being “noble”, and the slight over the top nature of the violence just totally ruins any chance of that idea. Which is huge shame because they actually try to build that idea up through out, mostly in useless flashbacks from the father character, I guess feeling remorseful about the fact he’s killed so many people. But in the next scene we see the Saints killing people and it’s supposed to be cool and the message is just destroyed. The hypocrisy and constant shifts between timelines, slow and fast motion, ultimately makes these scenes just boring.
And that’s basically this movie in a nut shell, it’s just boring. It goes nowhere, it takes way too long to get there, and on top of that, it’s been done before. Basically I should have just watched the first movie again, maybe really drunk or high and I probably would have liked it more than seeing this “new” movie. It’s a dull, run of the mill sequel that really should never have been made, and it pains me to know that I wasted two hours of my life just sitting through it.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Repo! The Genetic Opera
Ok, I’ve been asked a few times what I think about musicals, here’s what I have to say: I love them when they’re good, and I despise them when they are bad. I have no middle ground for these kinds of films really. I can’t call them ok, they are either great or they suck on massive levels. However, there is in fact one sub genre of them that I just love, I have yet to find one that I didn’t like and that is the rock opera. From “Tommy” to “Pink Floyd The Wall” to…. Well that’s all I can honestly say I’ve seen or for that matter remember off the top of my head. But, there is in fact one more that I’ve seen, and it is hands down my favorite of this sub genre: “Repo! The Genetic Opera”. This is going to be a bit of a rarity in that this is one of the few movies that I’ve seen several times before reviewing it.
“Repo!” is the first movie that director Darren Lynn Bousman made outside of the “Saw” series, and damn is it good, well I think it is anyway. I said in my “Book of Eli” review that it was a movie that would probably be either loved or hated and really I think “Repo!” is very much the same way. It’s down to your taste in movies and music really. It’s plot will probably show you why, in the future, there is an epidemic of organ failures. Out of the need for new organs comes the company Geneco, an organization that will save the lives of those needing new organs…. For a price, and those that can’t pay, a repo man is sent to harvest their credited organs. I’ve described this film as something Tim Burton and Trent Reznor would come up with after tripping shooms, and I stand by that. It’s got Tim Burton-esque style yet the music isn’t the typical Danny Elfman, “Nightmare Before Christmas” type stuff, it’s more hard rock industrial like, well, Nine Inch Nails.
But that’s not a bad thing, I actually like this mix a lot. The songs are catchy and fun to sing a long with, hum later and all that stuff. On top of that though, they actually feel like opera numbers, all the dialogue is sung actually. It’s a very bold choice, always has been. I think that’s why I have a lot of love for rock operas, they take what makes an opera, but choose to use modern style music. It’s a bold artistic risk, and I have to say damn I’m glad there are musicians that take those kinds of chances, because when they do, it’s usually something they work very hard on and the effort shines though in the music.
However, there is a couple of problems when it came to the casting, though it’s not something that pisses me off or anything, it’s just that Bill Mosley (“The Devil’s Rejects”) and Paul Sorvino (“Goodfellas”) can’t really sing. Mostly they just speak their lyrics in something that resembles rhythm, a bit unfortunate yet I don’t mind. The performances actually add a lot the songs, from all the actors and that includes Paris Hilton. Yes, I said it. Paris Hilton acted in a movie and didn’t piss me off. She actually does have a descent voice and well, her character is a spoiled heiress, it’s not like she really needs to act that much. But the show stealers are hands down Alexa Vega who has come a very long way from her days as a Spy Kid, and who’d have guessed, but she really knows how to sing. Here she’s a troubled, sheltered teen that has been confined to her home due to a blood disease, and she longs to see the world and meet her hero, Blind Mag, the voice of Geneco and the other performance that steals the show. Played by famous soprano singer Sarah Brightman, Mag is a character that I think has the least amount of screen time of anyone that plays a big part in the story, but she has such a great voice, and really her character is a turning point for several people involved. She’s Vega’s hero, her father’s (the repo man) latest assignment, and she’s planning on leaving Geneco, a major plot point. And yet I think she has maybe 10 minutes of screen time tops in this movie. The rest of the cast does a nice job, just isn’t quite as memorable. Well, except maybe Ogre as Pavi Largo, but I think that’s more to do with the design of the character.
The film’s design is also amazing. The photography is just great, I love its vivid colors and kinetic energy really set the mood the film is trying to create. Plus I love how the sets do the best they can with a clearly small budget, it actually feels like this is just being filmed on a very elaborate theater set, giving it an other worldly feel. Very little choreography, but what little there is makes a great impression. I really feel that this is what Darren Lynn Bousman can do well. The images are surreal and it was something that he had put in his installments of the “Saw” franchise, but here it gets to come full circle. I like getting to see this director finally break away from that tiresome franchise, here we really get to see what he’s capable of, and he shows a lot of promise.
Overall, this is a pretty damn good movie. It’s got great music, an interesting story (sadly ripped off for that stupid action movie with Jude Law.), and it’s just well made. It’s just sad how many people don’t know about this movie, and I think that’s sadly due to the fact that it seems if you’re doing a musical these days, you better be doing something like “Chicago”, because if you’re not some big successful jazz based musical, no one really seems to care. And that’s a damn shame if you ask me, because this is a fine example that something other than jazz can make a good musical, and I’d like to see more of them.
“Repo!” is the first movie that director Darren Lynn Bousman made outside of the “Saw” series, and damn is it good, well I think it is anyway. I said in my “Book of Eli” review that it was a movie that would probably be either loved or hated and really I think “Repo!” is very much the same way. It’s down to your taste in movies and music really. It’s plot will probably show you why, in the future, there is an epidemic of organ failures. Out of the need for new organs comes the company Geneco, an organization that will save the lives of those needing new organs…. For a price, and those that can’t pay, a repo man is sent to harvest their credited organs. I’ve described this film as something Tim Burton and Trent Reznor would come up with after tripping shooms, and I stand by that. It’s got Tim Burton-esque style yet the music isn’t the typical Danny Elfman, “Nightmare Before Christmas” type stuff, it’s more hard rock industrial like, well, Nine Inch Nails.
But that’s not a bad thing, I actually like this mix a lot. The songs are catchy and fun to sing a long with, hum later and all that stuff. On top of that though, they actually feel like opera numbers, all the dialogue is sung actually. It’s a very bold choice, always has been. I think that’s why I have a lot of love for rock operas, they take what makes an opera, but choose to use modern style music. It’s a bold artistic risk, and I have to say damn I’m glad there are musicians that take those kinds of chances, because when they do, it’s usually something they work very hard on and the effort shines though in the music.
However, there is a couple of problems when it came to the casting, though it’s not something that pisses me off or anything, it’s just that Bill Mosley (“The Devil’s Rejects”) and Paul Sorvino (“Goodfellas”) can’t really sing. Mostly they just speak their lyrics in something that resembles rhythm, a bit unfortunate yet I don’t mind. The performances actually add a lot the songs, from all the actors and that includes Paris Hilton. Yes, I said it. Paris Hilton acted in a movie and didn’t piss me off. She actually does have a descent voice and well, her character is a spoiled heiress, it’s not like she really needs to act that much. But the show stealers are hands down Alexa Vega who has come a very long way from her days as a Spy Kid, and who’d have guessed, but she really knows how to sing. Here she’s a troubled, sheltered teen that has been confined to her home due to a blood disease, and she longs to see the world and meet her hero, Blind Mag, the voice of Geneco and the other performance that steals the show. Played by famous soprano singer Sarah Brightman, Mag is a character that I think has the least amount of screen time of anyone that plays a big part in the story, but she has such a great voice, and really her character is a turning point for several people involved. She’s Vega’s hero, her father’s (the repo man) latest assignment, and she’s planning on leaving Geneco, a major plot point. And yet I think she has maybe 10 minutes of screen time tops in this movie. The rest of the cast does a nice job, just isn’t quite as memorable. Well, except maybe Ogre as Pavi Largo, but I think that’s more to do with the design of the character.
The film’s design is also amazing. The photography is just great, I love its vivid colors and kinetic energy really set the mood the film is trying to create. Plus I love how the sets do the best they can with a clearly small budget, it actually feels like this is just being filmed on a very elaborate theater set, giving it an other worldly feel. Very little choreography, but what little there is makes a great impression. I really feel that this is what Darren Lynn Bousman can do well. The images are surreal and it was something that he had put in his installments of the “Saw” franchise, but here it gets to come full circle. I like getting to see this director finally break away from that tiresome franchise, here we really get to see what he’s capable of, and he shows a lot of promise.
Overall, this is a pretty damn good movie. It’s got great music, an interesting story (sadly ripped off for that stupid action movie with Jude Law.), and it’s just well made. It’s just sad how many people don’t know about this movie, and I think that’s sadly due to the fact that it seems if you’re doing a musical these days, you better be doing something like “Chicago”, because if you’re not some big successful jazz based musical, no one really seems to care. And that’s a damn shame if you ask me, because this is a fine example that something other than jazz can make a good musical, and I’d like to see more of them.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Where the Wild Things Are
Ah, finally! I get to actually review something big. Something with a ton of back story to me. Something that I have such a personal connection to, that I was extremely critical of anything that could have come of it. Yes I like many many people, grew up with the gloriousness that was Maurice Sendak’s classic children’s book “Where the Wild Things Are”. It was a fun little story with creative monsters. I loved book and read it all the time, well into middle school in fact. Back the fuck off if you want to judge that I read a kid’s book that long, it was just good. To be honest though children’s media, when well done, really holds up when you’re an adult too. I love going back to look at things like “The Sandlot”, or “The Never-ending Story” and the almighty “E. T. The Extra Terrestrial” and “The Goonies” because of one big reason that I’m sure you already know, THEY’RE GOOD!!!
Thus I come to the film version of this story. I was as skeptical as you probably are if you haven’t seen this movie. The original story was very short. Here’s the brief summary of the book. Max is a rowdy kid. He gets in trouble with his mom one night, and she sends him to bed with no dinner. While in his room, Max goes in to an imagery world that he navigates through in a boat and comes to the titular Wild Things. They are a bunch of big monster looking things and Max becomes their king. However, Max gets bored after awhile and heads home much to the dismay of the Wild Things. When he finally gets home he finds that his mother has left him dinner in his room, and it’s still warm. It’s a sweet and charming story, meaning making a good movie out of it is near impossible.
So, how is such a feat to be achieved? Well, you simply need to watch this movie and you have your answer. It’s a great film that keeps the heart and story of the original material but adds a lot great things! Things that most movies these days lack like: character and plot and great design.
The story is mostly the same, but they add some changes. Max is not so much rowdy as troubled. He’s at the point where he’s feeling alone, his sister is off with her friends all the time, his mother still loves and cares for him, but she has her own life too. It comes to a head when he gets the feeling that his mother doesn’t really seem to want to pay attention to him when he’s feeling lonely and so he puts on his wolf costume (another nod to the source material) and throws a fit that ends in him biting her and running away to the woods. There he finds a boat and goes to the land of the Wild Things. He becomes their king and tries to rule in such away that everyone is happy and always having fun. Slowly though, he realizes that his selfishness is actually hurting the Wild Things, and ultimately decides that he has to go back home.
Now, really this is one of those things that may sound silly to some, but really this is a movie that is based on a picture book, if you have shit design you have fucked the movie, plan and simple. Thankfully it’s like I said, the design is just perfect. Most of the Wild Things look like they walked out of the book, mainly because, well, they’re actually in front of the camera. I said in my “Sorority Row” review that I’m not too hot on 100% CGI, mostly this comes from the fact that many CGI movies just look fake. I mean, they look cool, but I can tell I’m looking at an effect and it really detracts from the movies most of time unless we’re talking about things “King Kong ‘05”, or the “Pirates of The Caribbean” films. Thankfully, this movie chose to make the Wild Things with the help of the studio that is God when it comes to suits and puppets, The Jim Henson Work Shop. Before anyone points out the CG in the movie, I’m aware, the facial movements are CG. I don’t care because the rest of the creature is actually there. The CG is there to add fluidity that can’t be achieved by animatronics, THAT’S HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO FUCKING WORK! On top of this, the sets look amazing and really give you a sense of being in another world. It really feels like you’re there.
On top of that, the acting talent is just stunning. Max Records is just amazing as Max here. He just perfectly gathers all the anguish, anger, happiness and well nearly every other emotion I can think of for this character, and he’s only 12! People made a big deal about Haley Joel Osment in “The Sixth Sense” or Keisha Castle-Hughes in “Whale Rider”, and they did very well in those roles, but really I didn’t see anything worthy of the Oscar nominations they received. With Records, I saw a child performance that was seriously over looked. Catherine Keener does great as the mother, being supportive but having her limits and getting frustrated by her son’s behavior. Honestly, what steals the show is the Wild Things themselves, not just because of the design, but seriously the voices are what seal the deal for me. All the talent from Catherine O’ Hara to Chris Cooper to Tony Soprano himself James Gandolfini creates their own characters beautifully. They all have their own personality traits and quirks. It’s different from what you thought would come from the story because all these character are poignant, well rounded and oh so likable.
You know what, I could give this movie a verbal blow job for fucking hours and still not come close to truly describing how good it is. It’s hard to describe so here’s what happens now: You are going to close this window. You will then go to a torrent site or your video store of choice. You will rent or download the movie. And most importantly of all, FUCKING WATCH IT!
Thus I come to the film version of this story. I was as skeptical as you probably are if you haven’t seen this movie. The original story was very short. Here’s the brief summary of the book. Max is a rowdy kid. He gets in trouble with his mom one night, and she sends him to bed with no dinner. While in his room, Max goes in to an imagery world that he navigates through in a boat and comes to the titular Wild Things. They are a bunch of big monster looking things and Max becomes their king. However, Max gets bored after awhile and heads home much to the dismay of the Wild Things. When he finally gets home he finds that his mother has left him dinner in his room, and it’s still warm. It’s a sweet and charming story, meaning making a good movie out of it is near impossible.
So, how is such a feat to be achieved? Well, you simply need to watch this movie and you have your answer. It’s a great film that keeps the heart and story of the original material but adds a lot great things! Things that most movies these days lack like: character and plot and great design.
The story is mostly the same, but they add some changes. Max is not so much rowdy as troubled. He’s at the point where he’s feeling alone, his sister is off with her friends all the time, his mother still loves and cares for him, but she has her own life too. It comes to a head when he gets the feeling that his mother doesn’t really seem to want to pay attention to him when he’s feeling lonely and so he puts on his wolf costume (another nod to the source material) and throws a fit that ends in him biting her and running away to the woods. There he finds a boat and goes to the land of the Wild Things. He becomes their king and tries to rule in such away that everyone is happy and always having fun. Slowly though, he realizes that his selfishness is actually hurting the Wild Things, and ultimately decides that he has to go back home.
Now, really this is one of those things that may sound silly to some, but really this is a movie that is based on a picture book, if you have shit design you have fucked the movie, plan and simple. Thankfully it’s like I said, the design is just perfect. Most of the Wild Things look like they walked out of the book, mainly because, well, they’re actually in front of the camera. I said in my “Sorority Row” review that I’m not too hot on 100% CGI, mostly this comes from the fact that many CGI movies just look fake. I mean, they look cool, but I can tell I’m looking at an effect and it really detracts from the movies most of time unless we’re talking about things “King Kong ‘05”, or the “Pirates of The Caribbean” films. Thankfully, this movie chose to make the Wild Things with the help of the studio that is God when it comes to suits and puppets, The Jim Henson Work Shop. Before anyone points out the CG in the movie, I’m aware, the facial movements are CG. I don’t care because the rest of the creature is actually there. The CG is there to add fluidity that can’t be achieved by animatronics, THAT’S HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO FUCKING WORK! On top of this, the sets look amazing and really give you a sense of being in another world. It really feels like you’re there.
On top of that, the acting talent is just stunning. Max Records is just amazing as Max here. He just perfectly gathers all the anguish, anger, happiness and well nearly every other emotion I can think of for this character, and he’s only 12! People made a big deal about Haley Joel Osment in “The Sixth Sense” or Keisha Castle-Hughes in “Whale Rider”, and they did very well in those roles, but really I didn’t see anything worthy of the Oscar nominations they received. With Records, I saw a child performance that was seriously over looked. Catherine Keener does great as the mother, being supportive but having her limits and getting frustrated by her son’s behavior. Honestly, what steals the show is the Wild Things themselves, not just because of the design, but seriously the voices are what seal the deal for me. All the talent from Catherine O’ Hara to Chris Cooper to Tony Soprano himself James Gandolfini creates their own characters beautifully. They all have their own personality traits and quirks. It’s different from what you thought would come from the story because all these character are poignant, well rounded and oh so likable.
You know what, I could give this movie a verbal blow job for fucking hours and still not come close to truly describing how good it is. It’s hard to describe so here’s what happens now: You are going to close this window. You will then go to a torrent site or your video store of choice. You will rent or download the movie. And most importantly of all, FUCKING WATCH IT!
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